Waah! You poor lil thing...why not go to DU where the purpose in life is to serve the communal hive.
If people left behind are feeling so much pain, why is that pain any more important than the pain the individual himself was feeling? Instead of blaming the person for living his own life--or not--why not tell the others to "just suck it up"?
When my Vicki chose to end her life, of course I went through grief stages, and of course I still miss her, but at least I don't carry around your sort of resentment. She had a choice and made her preferrred choice, and I am glad for her that she got what she wanted (after intervention blocked her first attempt). Should I be selfish and want her to live in an earthly hell just to avoid pain for me?
So are you consistent in the insistence that people live their lives to avoid others' pain...I mean, do you think a person can never break off a relationship because it would cause their partner pain? How many weddings break the heart of failed suitors? Wouldn't it be nice if folks took responsibility and never broke up? </sarc>
So sorry for your loss.