Post Partum Depression was something that I did not know anything about twenty-five years ago, and then my daughter had her second child, who had to have a complete blood exchange at birth, because my daughter had negative blood, and her husband had positive.
The new baby girl had to stay in the hospital for a good while, and my daughter drove many miles each day to give her mothers' milk, because she wanted her child to have the best chance at life. But after a few weeks, my daughter just fell asleep, and she slept most of the time, and her 4 year old was even feeding that new tiny baby. No one knew what had happened to my daughter, and her husband could not explain it either.
But the doctor diagnosed my daughter as having post partum depression, and another said she had schizophrenia. Her husband decided to divorce her, and take the children from her. I hired a lawyer and I asked that the children be allowed to stay with me during the summer months and returned to the father in the fall. I lost my case, and I never saw my grand daughter again, and my grandson came to see me in another state when he graduated from high school.
My daughter lived with me after her husband divorced her, and I faced many trials, and I cried and prayed a lot. My daughter wanted to wear see through dresses at times, and she "saw" some people whose heads did not match their bodies. I saw many doctors and tried all kinds of medicines. Some of the medicines made her much worse. We decided to stop all medicines and just to go it alone.
My daughter decided that she wanted to raise pure bred dogs, and she had Maltese and Chihuahuas, and she gave them exceptional love and care. She was truly commendable. It was against my wishes that some of the dogs lived in the house in her room Everywhere my daughter goes, they go, and if she is in the bathroom, they are outside of the door, and if she is downstairs, the dogs all lay by the door leading to the downstairs. I have really seen a lot of love and devotion. Dogs may show more love and devotion toward a person than some humans. Today, I consider my daughter to be doing very well, and I give these little dogs a lot of credit for the love and devotion that they have shown, and I owe a lot to them. I never want to forget to thank God for seeing me through this time of great trial.
My daughter's older son was told by his father to leave the home when he was 19, and my grandson tried drugs and died on the spot. I still have not seen my grand daughter and she is 27 now, and was given up for adoption by her own father. She now has thoughts of coming to visit.
My pain after learning about Post Partum Depression has not ended. It is real pain and so many of us stand helpless in the face of mental illness, and all of the help that some of you have imagined is just not real. My grandson is dead and will never return, and nothing I can do can bring back the lost years that I might have had with my grandchildren.
I am very sorry.
I am so sorry.
"My pain after learning about Post Partum Depression has not ended. It is real pain and so many of us stand helpless in the face of mental illness, and all of the help that some of you have imagined is just not real."
Thank you so much for sharing your story. So many people just do not understand! This is not just the "baby blues" we've all heard about. This is REAL devastating, personality changing mental illness. The woman who suffers from the psychotic version of this illness needs immediate, intense treatment. It needs to be taken seriously.
I feel compassion for Andrea only because I understand the reality of the illness. Of COURSE I feel the most pain for the babies she killed! People think that if you believe that mental illness triggered her actions you are "excusing" her actions. NO! Of course not. She should not just walk free. And she won't.
You, dear FRiend, have witnessed the devastation up close. I am glad your daughter has been able to focus love and attention on her dogs, and to feel their devotion to her. The man who was supposed to stand by her "in sickness and in health" and to love her as his own body,...well I won't type what your post has make me think of him.
I sure hope you, and your daughter, have a chance to know and develop a relationship with her surviving children.
pattyjo
Glad you kept God with you as you went through all of this and may your family be restored.
So very hard to understand post-partum depression.
I would like to send you a (((HUG)))
I am so sorry for the situation you have faced.
It is unimaginable to me.
...what a wonderful mother you have been to your dtr...
..I hope someday you'll see the total fruits of your good works if not thru your own dtr, thru your grand-dtr and eventually, I think God has a special spot saved for the caregives of this world.....
I suppose most freepers like most people in this country have perfect, normal children.....they don't realize not for one minute what devastation occurs when your children are not the picture perfect offspring we all want....