I had a similar experience postpartum. Many women do, but we don't do what she did.
I'll never forget when this story first came over the radio. I was rocking and nursing our third, just a newborn at the time, while the older two were running around the house. I was beginning to panic. And, at that moment, the story aired. All I could do was imagine the horror those children went through, and think, Could anyone just snap like that and not know what she's doing? Could I snap too? The whole way the story was presented made me afraid of myself, and I think other new mothers had the same experience.
But, then more info came out. This woman had plotted and planned. She did the deed systematically one at a time. She knew exactly what she was doing. She's no more insane than any other killer who commits mass murder all in one day.
Nice personal story. We all have FEELINGS, even horrible ones. What separates good people from evil ones is ACTING on them. A lot of murders are commited because someone is feeling terrible angst. Should we open the prisons and let them all out?
She was/is more than PPD. I've heard everything from bi-polar to schizoaffective. Plotting and planning aren't signs of sanity. Even the most paranoid schizophrenic can build a cathedral.
"I'll never forget when this story first came over the radio. I was rocking and nursing our third, just a newborn at the time, while the older two were running around the house. I was beginning to panic. And, at that moment, the story aired. All I could do was imagine the horror those children went through, and think, Could anyone just snap like that and not know what she's doing? Could I snap too? The whole way the story was presented made me afraid of myself, and I think other new mothers had the same experience.
But, then more info came out. This woman had plotted and planned. She did the deed systematically one at a time. She knew exactly what she was doing. She's no more insane than any other killer who commits mass murder all in one day."
I remember talking to my therapist about this. Well, he told me something that I'll never forget: Andrea Yates (he had read her psych file) was a cold, unempathetic patient and lacked as was said, the ability to feel empathy.
Now he reassured me that I was a much warmer, empathetic and caring person than Andrea Yates. He's known me since I was nine. Now TOT, the mere fact that you feel the way you did, in my opinion, shows you are incredibly caring and am able to analyze yourself.
When people snap, they don't systematically plan for it beforehand.