Posted on 07/26/2006 7:17:10 AM PDT by carlo3b
Sorry, but my children bore me to death!
by HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOLR, Daily Mail 08:00am 26th July 2006It's the start of the summer holidays, when millions of mothers despair at how to entertain their children for the next six weeks. What none of them dare say is that they would rather their children were still at school or, frankly, anywhere else. Helen Kirwan-Taylor, a 42-year-old writer, lives in Notting Hill, West London, with her businessman husband Charles and their sons Constantin, 12, and Ivan, ten. Here, she argues provocatively that modern women must not be enslaved by their children.
The lies started when my eldest son was less than ten months old.
Invitations to attend a child's birthday party or, worse, a singalong session were met with the same refrain: 'I would love to but I just can't spare the time.'
The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers.
(snip) Kids are supposed to be fulfilling, life-changing, life-enhancing fun: why was my attitude towards them so different?While all my girlfriends were dropping important careers and occupying their afternoons with cake baking, I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story. What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who, and a mother who is bored rigid by her children.
(snip) Am I a lazy, superficial person because I don't enjoy packing up their sports kit, or making their lunch, or sitting through coffee mornings with other mothers discussing how Mr Science (I can't remember most of the teachers' names) said such and such to Little Johnny and should we all complain to the headmaster.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
I just spent four days in the hospital.
I cried when I saw my children and cried when they had to leave. I couldn't WAIT to get home!
I forgot to say that raising these 2 children is the most wonderful blessing. I hold every minute precious. It is the most important and enjoyable thing I could dream of.
My husband just called from the Carnival grounds on Chincoteague. They are having an absolute blast and I'm really happy about that.......but now sorta, kinda, disappointed I didn't go, because he is of the belief they will be home before I have to leave for work.
I've enjoyed my mini-Mommy vacation, but I do find myself jealous of the time the 2 of them spend together without me.....is that bad? I shouldn't feel that way, I know, because I took this part-time job in part to give the 2 of them a little more daddy/daughter time (along with the extra cash every week - my paycheck paid for their day on Chincoteague and at the Carnival)
OMG - I hope you're OK..........
It was more than "feeding them, sheltering them, and telling them I loved them." So much more than that.
I feel sorry for her boys, and for her.
"What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who."
Precisely. This "woman" (overgrown teenage girl, more like) sounds like a borderline sociopath -- no feeling for anyone but herself -- or, att best, a narcissist.
I pity her children.
I'm sorry, but no you don't. Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is doing things that bore you because the people involved mean more to you than yourself. Love is a decision of selflessness. Children are not accessories, and if you have them because it's going to be so much fun, frankly, your an idiot. Fifteen games of Candyland in a row will pretty much disavow you of that foolish notion.
She is right. There is much about parenthood that is boring, hard, exasperating and uncomfortable. There is no shame in bowing out of the process. But there is shame in taking on the responsibility and then making excuses as to why you're too bored to do the job.
To be fair, life is rather boring. And I have no doubt that her children will be fine...albeit narcissistic themselves. Of course, karma being what it is, they will find hanging out with her to be much too boring later when she is old and infirm and find excuses to go to work and get their highlights done.
Sadly, she has missed the whole point of parenting. It is to understand and become part of something larger than yourself, to test your own spirit and to leave something better for the world when you are gone. It is to learn the concept of self-sacrifice, to be interested in very small insignificant things because someone you love is...the bugs on the sidewalk, or a leaf collection. It is to reconnect with the joy of being alive. It is to learn gratitude for those who came before you...they sacrificed the same or more for you. They listened to you, were bored for you, gave up for you. You learn to treasure what your parents were able to give you, when you become a parent.
In fact, that is the dirty little secret of parenthood. You do not, as you promised yourself, understand your children better than your parents did. You instead respect, understand and admire your own parents more. Given healthy relationships of course.
The writer loves no one more than herself and her own comforts. It doesn't make her a bad mother, because she is not a mother. She is an egg donor. To be honest, it does make her a bad human being. An ungrateful, selfish, empty wretch of a human being. She needs to take a good long look at her own life.
I don't know any mothers like the woman who wrote this article. Like you said, she just takes selfishness to a whole new realm.
Leaving a baby with life threatening issues.......goodness, what's it all about!
Sorry for your loss. Hope there is comfort in memories.
That photo always makes me teary-eyed. Poor little monkey.
And I dislike monkeys and apes in general.
Just beautiful.
I'll also add that I never understood what it meant to be a "child of God" till I became a father.
Thanks, that made me cry.
Alas, I have known some like this.........
Aha. The money quote, Hitman. Exactly.
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