Sorry, but my children bore me to death! (Feminism's highest honor, Grand Narcissism)

Daily Mail ^ | 26th July 2006 | HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOLR

[netmilsmom]

I just spent four days in the hospital.
I cried when I saw my children and cried when they had to leave. I couldn't WAIT to get home!

[Delphinium]

I forgot to say that raising these 2 children is the most wonderful blessing. I hold every minute precious. It is the most important and enjoyable thing I could dream of.

[Gabz]

My husband just called from the Carnival grounds on Chincoteague. They are having an absolute blast and I'm really happy about that.......but now sorta, kinda, disappointed I didn't go, because he is of the belief they will be home before I have to leave for work.

I've enjoyed my mini-Mommy vacation, but I do find myself jealous of the time the 2 of them spend together without me.....is that bad? I shouldn't feel that way, I know, because I took this part-time job in part to give the 2 of them a little more daddy/daughter time (along with the extra cash every week - my paycheck paid for their day on Chincoteague and at the Carnival)

[Gabz]

I just spent four days in the hospital.

OMG - I hope you're OK..........

[MozartLover]

I thank God for every "dull" moment I spent with my kids as they were growing up. The connections we made back when they were little are what have sustained us through so much of life's turmoils and tribulations, including the current stress of having one of them deployed.

It was more than "feeding them, sheltering them, and telling them I loved them." So much more than that.

I feel sorry for her boys, and for her.

[B-Chan]

"What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who."

Precisely. This "woman" (overgrown teenage girl, more like) sounds like a borderline sociopath -- no feeling for anyone but herself -- or, att best, a narcissist.

I pity her children.

[pollyannaish]

Of course I love my children as much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that I made up any excuse.

I'm sorry, but no you don't. Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is doing things that bore you because the people involved mean more to you than yourself. Love is a decision of selflessness. Children are not accessories, and if you have them because it's going to be so much fun, frankly, your an idiot. Fifteen games of Candyland in a row will pretty much disavow you of that foolish notion.

She is right. There is much about parenthood that is boring, hard, exasperating and uncomfortable. There is no shame in bowing out of the process. But there is shame in taking on the responsibility and then making excuses as to why you're too bored to do the job.

To be fair, life is rather boring. And I have no doubt that her children will be fine...albeit narcissistic themselves. Of course, karma being what it is, they will find hanging out with her to be much too boring later when she is old and infirm and find excuses to go to work and get their highlights done.

Sadly, she has missed the whole point of parenting. It is to understand and become part of something larger than yourself, to test your own spirit and to leave something better for the world when you are gone. It is to learn the concept of self-sacrifice, to be interested in very small insignificant things because someone you love is...the bugs on the sidewalk, or a leaf collection. It is to reconnect with the joy of being alive. It is to learn gratitude for those who came before you...they sacrificed the same or more for you. They listened to you, were bored for you, gave up for you. You learn to treasure what your parents were able to give you, when you become a parent.

In fact, that is the dirty little secret of parenthood. You do not, as you promised yourself, understand your children better than your parents did. You instead respect, understand and admire your own parents more. Given healthy relationships of course.

The writer loves no one more than herself and her own comforts. It doesn't make her a bad mother, because she is not a mother. She is an egg donor. To be honest, it does make her a bad human being. An ungrateful, selfish, empty wretch of a human being. She needs to take a good long look at her own life.

[Tired of Taxes]

I don't know any mothers like the woman who wrote this article. Like you said, she just takes selfishness to a whole new realm.

[OldFriend]

Leaving a baby with life threatening issues.......goodness, what's it all about!

[OldFriend]

Sorry for your loss. Hope there is comfort in memories.

[B-Chan]

That photo always makes me teary-eyed. Poor little monkey.

And I dislike monkeys and apes in general.

[retrokitten]

Warren, I have to tell you, I've seen you write about your kids so many times. The overwhelming love, joy, and pride you have for them just shines through every post. I know you will say that you are the blessed one, but they are so blessed to have you for their dad.

[Warren_Piece]

Sadly, she has missed the whole point of parenting. It is to understand and become part of something larger than yourself, to test your own spirit and to leave something better for the world when you are gone. It is to learn the concept of self-sacrifice, to be interested in very small insignificant things because someone you love is...the bugs on the sidewalk, or a leaf collection. It is to reconnect with the joy of being alive. It is to learn gratitude for those who came before you...they sacrificed the same or more for you. They listened to you, were bored for you, gave up for you. You learn to treasure what your parents were able to give you, when you become a parent.

Just beautiful.

I'll also add that I never understood what it meant to be a "child of God" till I became a father.

[pollyannaish]

Actually, I have no problem with people not having children. If you made that choice, more power to you. You will find much in life fulfilling.

HOWEVER, I will tell you that choice means that you can not stand around and criticize how others bring up their children. People without children can be absolutely breathtakingly arrogant regarding childrearing. It's actually funny, because I was there once.

Trust me, I was a much better parent before I actually had children. I knew everything there was to know about raising them. And then I had one and got reasonably good at it. Then I had the second one, completely different, and some days I just stand there and hope it all turns out ok.

I respect your choice completely. Just don't tell me how to do my job. I think that is pretty fair. BTW, my kids are very well behaved, but it doesn't make the job any easier.

[pollyannaish]

LOL. Fran Lebowitz has always cracked me up.

[trillabodilla]

Thanks, that made me cry.

[LetsRok]

Sounds like Fairfax County. ;)

South Riding to be exact. Loudoun County

[Gabz]

I don't know any mothers like the woman who wrote this article. Like you said, she just takes selfishness to a whole new realm.

Alas, I have known some like this.........

[pollyannaish]

One of the great truths I know is that 'boring people get bored.'

Aha. The money quote, Hitman. Exactly.

[Freedom4US]

"Am I a lazy, superficial person?"

Yes. And pick a fu$%^ing name, lady.