[photovoltaic]

Give that man a hand...I don't post too often, but this bit of strangeness caught my eye.

[fortunecookie]

Did it for Allah? Ewwwww, shudder. It is certainly strange.

I'm not an expert on Halal food, but I'm guessing this threw a wrench into the works - I mean, 'people' aren't exactly Halal are they? I hope they closed down for the day after that, at least the butcher...

[Constitution Day]

It could have been worse:

Man beheads himself in supermarket ("Clean Up! Aisle 6! Bring a mop!")

[Sax]

Was it possessed?

Ash's hand went bad, so he cut it off.

[Lady Jag]

[Professional Engineer]

Duct tape will fix that.

[MinuteGal]

This is what happens when you eat too much goat meat. There's inevitably a billy to pay, and I'm not kidding.

Leni

[Myrddin]

Outside, another witness said, the man announced that he had used the meat saw to cut off his hand "for Allah."

Oh good. What is Allah doing with the severed hand now? I suspect it is rotting in a trash can somewhere.

[Rockitz]

Was it Homer?

Dohhhh!

[palmer]

The customer ran down the Springfield store's center aisle and into the front parking lot, leaving a trail of blood and yelling repeatedly that he was "not a terrorist."

"If I had been an actual terrorist you would all be dead now"

[RichInOC]

"Throw ya hands in the air, and catch 'em like you just don't care..."

[savedbygrace]

I hate when that happens. It takes forever to disinfect the place afterwards.

[Billthedrill]

That isn't what you're supposed to cut off for Allah. A meat-saw circumcision, now that would have been worth reading about. Plus you get a souvenir that you can shoot from a rubber band gun. Don't these guys think about this stuff in advance?

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Gotta hand it to him!

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

What w2ould the Budhist say? What is the sound of one hand clapping?

[Hegemony Cricket]

WILLIE AND THE HAND JIVE

Got a cool little chick named Rocking Millie.
He can walk and stroll and Susie Q
And do that crazy hand jive, too.

Mama, mama, look at Uncle Joe
Doing the hand jive with sister Flo.
Grandma gave baby sister a dime;
Said, "Do that hand jive one more time."

Hand jive, hand jive, hand jive,
Do that crazy jive.

Doctor and a lawyer and an Indian chief,
They all dig that crazy beat.
Way-Out Willie gave them all a treat
When he did that hand jive with his feet.

Chorus

Willie and Millie got married last fall.
They had a little Willie junior and that ain't all.
Well, the kids got crazy and it's plain to see,
Doing the hand jive on T.V.

Chorus

[windsorknot]

The man had a hankerin' for a hand sammich.

[dfwgator]

[BadAndy]

"Customer at Market in Springfield Cuts Off His Hand"

Actually, when allah said "give me a hand" he meant applause.

[ko_kyi]

I've bought goat meat at that market.

For the last time.

[fortunecookie]

That poor, misguided man. I would think Allah would prefer he work to stay whole and healthy to support his family, but what do I know...