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A letter to ALL liberals who hate the way we treat 'detainees' at GITMO...
unknown

Posted on 07/18/2006 6:10:46 PM PDT by Jazzman1

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.

We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.

You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!

Cordially,

Your friend,

xxxxx


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: funny; islam; trop

1 posted on 07/18/2006 6:10:49 PM PDT by Jazzman1
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To: Jazzman1

Kudos.


2 posted on 07/18/2006 6:16:58 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all.)
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To: Jazzman1

An Adopt A Terrorist program. That's perfect.


3 posted on 07/18/2006 6:17:30 PM PDT by gotribe (It's not a religion.)
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To: Jazzman1

Bravo!


4 posted on 07/18/2006 6:18:53 PM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: Dixie Yooper

I know somebody that I would like to volunteer for the program. She's a sucker for this type of thing.


5 posted on 07/18/2006 6:23:00 PM PDT by flynmudd
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To: Jazzman1

Oooooooooooo, could I volunteer? I'd save us taxpayers EVER so much money!

"Honestly, I don't know HOW he fell down the stairs, accidents happen."


6 posted on 07/18/2006 6:40:06 PM PDT by ODC-GIRL (Proudly serving our Nation's Homeland Defense)
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To: Jazzman1

I had Spaghetti's O's for dinner. Apparently I don't even rise to the level of a terrorist. :O)


7 posted on 07/18/2006 7:11:03 PM PDT by jdm
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To: gotribe

Be sure to send one each to Kerry, Hillary and Bubba Clinton, Boxer, Pelosi, Dean, Feinstein, Kennedy, Reid, Durbin, Spector, Feingold, Schumer, Snow, and the list goes on. I can't think of anything more fitting and deserved.


8 posted on 07/18/2006 8:09:48 PM PDT by ExTexasRedhead
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To: ExTexasRedhead

they would release them.


9 posted on 07/18/2006 8:14:32 PM PDT by Steve Van Doorn (*in my best Eric cartman voice* “I love you guys”)
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

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