Posted on 07/15/2006 7:25:02 PM PDT by Coleus
The idea still holds a bit of novelty, though Shelton and Brandi Koskie aren't banking on that alone. Rather, the Wichita couple is hoping the generosity of strangers is what ultimately pays off. The Koskies, who spent 17 months attempting to conceive a child the old-fashioned way, recently turned to a doctor for help. It was then they learned Shelton had a medical condition that made in vitro fertilization their best option.
They also learned it would cost $15,000. Shelton, 26, works in publications at Cessna, and Brandi, 25, is an advertising account executive. That much money seemed like a fortune to the young couple. But Shelton said his wife is a natural problem solver. Before she had even walked out of the doctor's office, she came up the idea of building a Web site to not only chronicle their experience, but ask visitors to donate money.
BabyOrBust.com, which launched in early July, has already netted the couple more than $1,000. "The hardest part for me was, wait a second, we're going to tell everybody?" Shelton said. The idea of "cyberbegging" came from Karyn Bosnack, a 20-something from New York who had accumulated more than $20,000 in credit card bills. Her Web site, SaveKaryn.com, asked people in 2002 to donate money to help her get out of debt.
"This has been a nation of self-promotion from the get-go," said Robert Thompson, a professor of media and pop culture at Syracuse University. "What the Internet and reality television have done is given people a venue for that self-promotion." Thompson said Bosnack spawned an entire generation of people looking online for handouts and eventually people will grow tired of it.
"It's like e-mail," he said. "There's no longer the novelty factor." But the Koskie's Web site represents more than a hand extended, palm up. It is a mixture of research and links, with a published list of medical expenses to help other couples plan for in vitro fertilization. It even includes a diary with such pithy, lighthearted commentary as Brandi's entry: "They say it takes a village to raise a child. We need a village to help us just get the dad-gum thing conceived!"
"When we started this, we told ourselves we'd have to get a thick skin," Brandi said. "Not everybody is going to agree with what we're doing. ... Our position is that what we're doing is an act of love." In vitro fertilization is not covered by their health insurance, and the couple said they had considered moving to one of the 15 states that requires health care coverage for fertility treatments. But their entrepreneurship has allowed them to stay in Wichita, where they say they have always wanted to raise their children. "We want a baby that has my blue eyes," Brandi said, "and Shelton's red hair and my curls."
They just don't want to spend their own *hard earned* money in case it doesn't work out. More of the entitlement, *we're owed this* mentality. Donations from me? In their dreams.
The kids would be named Bedford and Duncan....
They are too young to be not able to have kids.
I am hearing this more and more often. I wonder if she has been on birth control pills for the past ten years and now it comes back to bite her.....
Asking for donations from strangers so they can have a child. I have heard it all. What about the hospital delivery bill? When the child needs new clothes, wants a pony, wants a car, needs college money? We supposed to donate for that too?
If they cann't afford the IVF then they are not ready to afford the child either. My wife and I are on our 4th cycle right now. My wife dosn't work. We had to make some major changes in our spending habits in order to afford it.
>>>>I wonder if she has been on birth control pills for the past ten years
That is an excellent thought.
I am going to Germany in September and would like some spending money. Please dig deap in your pockets and send me some money for beer. Your generosity will be remembered forever. Thank you. LOL. What is it with these people.
It appears the problems are on the sperm side.
I missed that line.
Understandable. You raised a reasonable question, especially since the couple is asking for charity.
Chiari Malformation Also known as Arnold-Chiari Malformation or ACM, this is an ucommon structural condition affecting the cerebellum. Essentially there is extra cerebellum crowding the outlet of the brainstem/spinal cord from the skull on its way to the spinal canal. This crowding will commonly lead to severe headaches, neck pain, loss of balance, tingling in the arms and/or legs, stiffness, and less often will cause problems such as chronic coughing, difficulties with swallowing, and choking. Often the symptoms are made worse with straining.
Untreated, the chronic crowding of the brainstem and spinal cord can lead to very serious consequences including paralysis. In addition they can lead to the development of syrinxes which may further injure the patients spinal cord and function. When the diagnosis is suspected the study of choice is an MRI scan. These malformations are very difficult to see on CT scans and impossible to see on plain x-rays.
There are many ways to treat Chiari malformations, but all require surgery. The basic operation is one of uncrowding the area at the base of the cerebellum where it is pushing against the brainstem and spinal cord. This is done by removing a portion of bone at the base of the skull deep to the neck muscles as well as often removing a part of the back of the first and occasionally additional spinal column segments.
The kids I know have Chiari malformation Type I with Hydrosyringomyelia. Very long and painful road a head for all of them. They are in the process of moving to Chicago to be near a specalist in this field.
People get sooooo hostile when this is suggested.
Here's some websites:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/chiari.htm
http://www.pressenter.com/~wacma/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold-Chiari_malformation
Arnold Chiari is the doctor the syndrome was named after, and you can find lots more sites by googling his name.
A woman's fertility peaks at age *27*. You won't see that much in the MSM though--they are too busy promoting feminism and careers and using fertility treatment as a fall back position. Someone out there invented the age 35 number as the magic age you should have kids by, but for some women, that's too late.
Sorry, he is the one with the medical problems (probably sperm related, but who knows?)
You see that number a lot, but I've got it filed under "d*mned lies and statistics" until I see the research behind it. How could they even find enough women not contracepting to do a statistically valid study?
My RE quoted it to me, and I believe him. Of course, this is an average; some women have lower peaks, some women higher peaks.
Here's a few sources I found online:
http://www.asrm.org/Patients/FactSheets/reproaging.pdf
http://unisci.com/stories/20022/0430021.htm
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001191.htm
http://archives.cnn.com/2002/HEALTH/04/30/fertility/index.html
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/baby/fert_text.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,3858,4404085-110418,00.html
Thanks, I will look at those articles. I don't doubt the honesty of anyone using the number, but I do wonder how the information was "discovered."
Interesting. I see they didn't control for lifestyle factors, such as STD history, so the practical utility of the number is low. However, I can at least see how they got the number.
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