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Marine Lance Cpl. Dale Alan Pulliam was 21 years, two months and one day old when he was killed in Vietnam on Mother's Day 1967. He was a mortar man with C Company, 1st Battalion, 9th Marines. The unit had another, more grim label as well.
"Ho Chi Minh told them that he was going to kill them all, so just consider themselves dead walking, so they called themselves the 'Walking Dead,'" Pulliam, the new national president of the American Gold Star Mothers Inc., said. "That was the story told to me."
The then-Vietnam president had indeed labeled the unit "Di bo Chet," the Walking Dead, for its actions in a valley near the Song Nu Yi River in 1966.
Thirty-nine years since her son's death, Pulliam still barely gets herself through Mother's Days. Her membership in the American Gold Star Mothers, however, has provided her some comfort, she said.
Founded in June 1928, American Gold Star Mothers Inc., is an organization of mothers who have lost a son or daughter in the service of the United States.
"It never gets easy," she said. "It has helped me tremendously to be with other (Gold Star) mothers who have had the same loss I did."
Born and raised in Wichita, Kan., Dale enjoyed hunting and fishing and played high school football and basketball before graduating in 1964. From there it was on to junior college, where he completed a semester before deciding to join the Marine Corps. "He was mighty proud to be a Marine," his mother said. "He was just an all-around good kid."
After boot camp at Camp Pendleton, Calif., he was sent to Vietnam, where he was wounded just two months before his death in Da Nang. In addition to his parents, Dale left a brother, two sisters and their families.
It was one of those family members, Pulliam's then-4-year-old grandson, who gave her some peace about her son's death. The child was visiting his grandparents around the time of his uncle's death and told them his Uncle Dale was OK. "He said, 'Grandma, Grandma, Uncle Dale's not dead,'" Pulliam recalled. "I said, 'Yes, he is. He's not coming home.'"
The boy replied that he knew Uncle Dale wasn't coming home, but he wasn't dead. "He said, ... 'God came and got me out of my bed last night and took me to heaven and I got to see him. And then God brought me back to my bed. So ... I know he's not coming home, but he's not dead,'" Pulliam said. "That was a big help."
While she will never forget her loss, Pulliam, now 80, has continued to live her life with verve. At 65, a granddaughter convinced Pulliam to run a two-mile race with her on the Fourth of July. She ran her last race in 2003, and between the first race and the last she collected 30 medals and trophies.
Pulliam also has served many volunteer hours, working with veterans and serving on the Gold Star Mothers National Executive Board for the past four years. She currently serves as the group's national president and plans to raise public awareness of American Gold Star Mothers during her term.
Active in organizations that honor veterans, Pulliam works with a group whose efforts make sure homeless veterans have a dignified burial. She also is a member of the Patriot Guard, a motorcycle organization that attends military funerals at the invitation of families, and rides with Rolling Thunder motorcycle group every Memorial Day weekend in Washington.
One past volunteer activity in particular left a lasting impression on Pulliam.
Members of Wichita Vietnam Veterans, a group no longer active, called her "mom" and got a hug from her every time they saw her. One day, Pulliam learned from one of the veterans' wives why those hugs were so important to them: they represented her forgiveness that they had come home when her son hadn't.
"I made sure not to miss one of them after that," Pulliam said.
In 2004, Pulliam was among six Gold Star Mothers who traveled to Vietnam to hold a memorial service for their children. "Of course it's a lot different than it was when my son was there," she said. "But at least I got to walk where he did."
