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Poll Shows Huge Percentage of Muslims Are Nuts

A poll conducted by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press titled “The Great Divide: How Westerners and Muslims View Each Other” indicated that a large portion of Muslims around the world are nuts. The survey interviewed Muslims in two groups of countries: six with longstanding, mainly Muslim populations (Egypt, Indonesia, Jordan, Nigeria, Pakistan and Turkey) and four in Europe with new, minority Muslim populations (France, Germany, Britain, Spain).

The majority of Muslims polled believe that the September 11, 2001, attacks on the US were carried out by either Jews or mutant X-Men. The proportions range from 85 percent in Pakistan to 52 percent among French Muslims.
Aamir Morrun, a Pakistani respondent is convinced that mutant X-Men are responsible. “These X-Men are very powerful,” Morrun explained. “They can throw cars into the air with just their minds. They could easily have diverted airplanes into buildings. Since destroying the World Trade Center I have seen them destroy the Golden Gate Bridge.”

The majority of Muslims polled said they had confidence in Osama bin Laden. A third of Muslims polled said suicide bomber would be a good career choice. Fida Bashim of Jordan is one of them. “It’s a great choice,” said Bashim. “You get to travel and do important work. In the end you go to paradise and have sex with dozens of virgins. You can’t beat it.”

Oswald Shockey of the Pew Center says “The attitudes expressed by a huge percentage of these Muslims are virtually indistinguishable from the rantings of patients in mental asylums.”

In related news, Islamic Research Academy in Egypt ruled that suicide bombers do NOT qualify for paradise unless their attack kills at least one infidel. “Allah does not reward clumsiness,” said the ruling. “If all a suicide bomber achieves is his own death or that of fellow Muslims, his soul goes straight to Hell.” The ruling is expected to reemphasize the importance of training.

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http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm