Oh, my God. So, are you saying none of these things are really true??
1. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
6. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
7. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
8. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
9. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
10. Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
11. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
12. Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become prostitutes or welders.
13. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
14. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their total opposite.
16. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
17. Radiation causes interesting mutations - not to your future children but to you, right there and then.
18. If you're blonde and pretty, it is possible to become an expert on nuclear fission at the age of 23.
19. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
20. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
As someone who has lived most of his life in and around the city, this has always made me laugh. Remember "reporter" Lois Lane's PENTHOUSE on Central Park? Even back in the 70s, she would have been lucky to live in a fifth floor walkup near Columbia, or in Brooklyn. In my poor student days in the Bronx, I never understood how the "Friends" could live in such swank accomodations. Believe it or not, Seinfeld's rather humble place was appropriate for a journeyman standup comedian (albeit not for the multimillionaire Jerry would become).
16. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
True when said foreigners are from different countries. I once sat in a meeting in France with two Israelis, a Spaniard, and a German. We conversed in, you guessed it, English.
I believe number seven to be true.
Sadly, it's not also the case that at least one member of a set of twins must be good, as I learned by observing the well known financial gurus Tomas and Xamot.