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Thank you for the interesting discussion. There is not much disagreement here. But just for fun, let's have one more splitting hair round.

...How can moderate muslims demonstrate to those of us who fear them that they seek a world in which they are tolerant and tolerated. How can we non-muslims know they are (toward us) as they ask us to be toward them...tolerant, forgiving, merciful...brotherly.
...The west doesn't harbor the religion of hate knowingly. It has snuck in unawares. The onus is on islam.

The onus is indeed on Islam. It is their internal matter that was exported to become the world's problem. But unless we end up wiping them out, the solution is still theirs.

We can help by killing out the Jihadists and by clearly stating our expectations. Frankly, I don't care about "brotherly and merciful", but non-aggressive externally and non-discriminatory internally are the must. From our side no multicultural tolerance to their intolerance. No looking away from their hate speech. No appeasement! Remove all Wahhabi and Wahhabi financed organization from the West. No excuses and lowering expectations. No accepting the whining that its somebody else fault. For ourselves: forget about quick fixes, but be ready for extended, multigenerational effort to confront their aggression and intolerance. When they see a strong horse and no paper tiger does not matter who is in office, they will abandon Jihadist ways

Thx for the excellent post. We are singing the same tune.

I don't have a problem with islam as long as it doesn't preach and act out violence and treason, behave like a cult, and victimize others (muslims and non-muslim alike), etc.

In most cases, I believe islam can be forced to adapt to modernity by making it adapt to legal systems in the modern world. However, I suspect there are some aspects (both Sunni and Shia) that will not "go gentle into that good night."

the solution is still theirs

Agree, and this is what the President is talking about when he says this will be a long war. To support those who do want to bring Islam into the modern world is (IMO) the real reason we went into Iraq. Will this work out? I don't know as I misplaced my crystal ball the other day...BUT I am hopeful, and those here who scream and holler "Nuke Mecca" (weather they know it or not) are helping the terrorist.