Posted on 07/03/2006 9:55:11 PM PDT by freepatriot32
INNSBRUCK, Austria -- It's been suspected for centuries, but a team of world-renowned scientists has finally confirmed it: Lawyers and leeches have identical genetic makeup.
Dr. Andreas Volkenweiler of Austria's famed Innsbruck Institute of Genetic Research confirms that, "While studying the DNA sequences of many genes that control body patterns in various occupations, our research team observed that each lawyer gene contains a stretch of 180 nucleotides -- or structural components of DNA -- which exactly match the structure of those found in leeches.
"Once we made that basic match, other similarities between the two species were fairly easy to observe." Those similarities include the facts that both lawyers and leeches are: Famed for their blood-sucking abilities. Have large round mouths functioning as suckers to hold on to their hosts. Have fine, conical teeth. Are recognized for being the lowest, sleaziest and slimiest of their species. Thrive in the bottom-mud and ooze of existence. Partial to consuming the blood of fish, frogs and turtles. Equally popular in social situations. The American Bar Association is proceeding with a defamation of character lawsuit, but Dr. Volkenweiler is not worried. "We haven't stated anything that's not a documented fact," he says.
Uhh....So what's new?
how about ticks?
Leeches charge......oh one helluva lot less.
Leeches are better parasites because they don't suck their host dead.
Leeches have been around for millions of years. Lawyers for less than a thousand. Give them time....
Both are dickless too.
Junk science. The findings are clearly weighted against leeches.
I think leeches are better than layers. Leaches have been used for thousands of years for treating illness. They are even used today where small appendages are reattached. The blood sucking results in a localized reduction in blood pressure.
Hmmm. George Washington died from too much bleeding. A clear sing the too many layers is a bad thing.
Geeze, not using spell check is bad enough, but to make the same mistake twice. sorry
ping
We're highly-trained professionals.
Darn! I can't add anything. You Freepers were really quick
on this. UNFAIR!
What an insult. The Leeches union is gonna be pissed!
This is the first story from them that I absolutely believe.
YES WE ARE!
Glad you have joined the bar!
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