Shut up & walk your lobster (Whole Foods Considers Stopping Lobster Sales)

Austin American Statesman ^ | 6/13/06 | John Kelso

[Cat loving Texan]

No wonder people think this town is goofy. The Whole Foods Market chain headquartered here in Austin is thinking about stopping the sale of live lobsters because it could be cruel to the lobsters.

"We're reviewing the entire process literally from boat to plate to see if we can make some significant improvement in that whole supply process," Whole Foods spokeswoman Kate Lowery said.

One way Whole Foods could make some significant improvement would be to release all the lobsters into Town Lake. That way I could collect them and eat them.

Still, on Thursday the Whole Foods leadership will discuss whether to discontinue marketing live lobsters because the lobsters may not be getting humane treatment. At issue here is what people do with the lobsters when they take them home — that is, boil them and dip them in drawn butter. "It's ultimately how they're handled by the consumer after they go home that's a concern," Lowery said.

What are we supposed to do? Give them names like Larry the Lobster and take them for a walk?

Then there's the problem of the lobster's in-store living conditions. Whole Foods would like the lobsters to have an environment similar to their natural habitat.

"They like dark areas, and they like solitary," Lowery said. "You can imagine how they would go and kind of burrow into rocks, creating their own space." I think I went drinking once in a place like that in the Warehouse District.

Lowery added that at some point Whole Foods will also address the ticklish issue of selling live clams.

Are you concerned about clams' feelings? Have you ever had a conversation with a clam? Wait. Let me rephrase that. Have you ever had a conversation with a clam when you weren't on acid?

If the answer is yes, get a job at Whole Foods.

Another concern is the way children bother the lobsters by tapping on the lobster tank glass. I don't care about that. But I wish science could figure a way to put children on mute and vibrate, like with a cell phone. Now there's a concept that would sell.

Anyway, I went over to the Whole Foods store to see if the live lobsters are getting a bum deal in the seafood section. Actually, the lobsters are getting off easy. They're still kickin'. It's the tilapia and salmon that are getting screwed. The tilapia have been hacked to pieces, and the wild salmon have been mushed up with spinach and feta cheese and turned into burgers.

Ain't a vet in town could bring these salmon back. And you're telling me the lobsters have a bum deal?

One of the problems, said the guy working at the Whole Foods fish counter, is that they can't feed the lobsters in the tank. "When you eat, you then poop, and this creates a dirty tank," he said. Yeah, I've noticed that connection. Maybe Whole Foods could hand the lobsters some bum wad.

Another problem, the seafood counter guy said, is the way lobsters are transported to the store. "They're put in a box and wrapped tightly with wet newspaper over the lobster," he said.

So Whole Foods could pick up the lobster in a limo. At the prices they charge, they could afford it.

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.

[nuke rocketeer]

ITS A GIANT FREAKING COCHROACH!

But a tasty one when cooked snd dipped in butter!

[thebaron512]

Got to get me a vat of melted Butter!!!!

[cyberaxe]

.....man this story brought back to mind a little situation I had about 15 years ago.....

.....we do a lot of work for super markets, including installation of alot of there refrigerated equipment.....

.....a chain out here got on the seafood market kick back then and had us install lobster tanks in all their seafood markets.....

.....they kept calling us back to one particular store because some of the lobsters kept dying in the tank.....

.....after a long investigation, which included have the manufacturer of the tanks come out we were at our whits end to find the problem.....

.....this tank was working just like all the others, temp and ph levels were recorded and all seemed normal.....

.....but every morning there would be at least 2 or 3 dead lobsters in the tank.....

.....finally, the chains lost prevention crew found the problem.....

.....the night stock crew smoked dope on their break and had lobster races down the stores isle at night! LOL.....

.....i don't think they ever informed PETA.....

[battlegearboat]

Well, we all had a good laugh!

[battlegearboat]

The night crew toked

lobsters choked

[Shimmer128]

Give me your poor lobsters, your tired lobsters, seeking to be free....


give him to me and I'll show you abuse!

[RonHolzwarth]

This reminds me:

1. When you put two lobsters together without the restraining rubber bands on their claws, within minutes you have the larger (or maybe quicker) lobster having a lobster feast. That's why they're solitary animals!

2. Adolf Hitler was also concerned about this problem, and so he passed a law in Germany in the 1930s which required cooks to put a metal grill at the bottom of the pot of boiling water. Then the lobsters would not feel the pain of contacting the heat at the bottom of the pan. (he did not understand thermodynamics)

3. Lobsters are not kosher, that is, not acceptable as part of an observant Jewish diet.

[cyberaxe]

.....one of the chains loss prevention crew told me that when he interviewed one of the stock crew, he actually said.....

....."Dude, they were fine when we put-em back in the tank".....

....."just swimming around like all the other little happy gus".....

....."we didn't shotgun them or anything".....

.....idiots.....

.....if your gonna smoke-up some lobsters.....

.....at least offer them some melted butter as a last request.....

[Alouette]

Who can afford Whole Foods?

I like to grind my own spices, and Whole Foods has a selection of whole spices that are hard to find anywhere else, and when bought by the oz. is very inexpensive.

[nuke rocketeer]

and laughed and laughed and laughed........

At nothing!

[battlegearboat]

I have a coffee store nearby who also stocks the spices. Plus, I have a her garden this year that I started from seed and it is flourishing.

But I'll go check out what they have. Sanks.

[battlegearboat]

her=herb

[battlegearboat]

One participant put it this way:

"Our glowing personalities radiated over all we came in contact with and their puzzled expressions made us burst out in laughter."

[Atlas Sneezed]

YOu can't get big ones form Maine/Mass. any more. Out west, (such as Vegas) they all come from Nova Scotia. Tase just as good.

We just enjoyed four 4-pounders (one per person) a few weeks back. Imagine getting such fresh lobster here in the mountainous West. Don't let anyone tell you they get tougher with age. They were as good as they get.

[nuke rocketeer]

Been there too! Going round and round the park, ripping down a 3" sapling tree that offended my sense of esthetics, kissing the girls, getting slapped, laughing, laughing, laughing...............

Ah, the irresponsibilities of a misspent youth!

[Atlas Sneezed]

I like to grind my own spices, and Whole Foods has a selection of whole spices that are hard to find anywhere else, and when bought by the oz. is very inexpensive.

---

I swear by mail ordering from Penzeys.com for the freshest, cheapest spices.

[Alouette]

There is a Penzey's store that just opened near my home, I will have to pay them a visit.

Garam masala, curry, cajun seasoning and fresh chili from scratch--there's nothing like it!

[Ignatz]

Penzey's ping!

Penzey's rocks!

[Rte66]

Good one! Ah, the smell of a burnt orange in the morning!

[Rte66]

Sounds like they're making excuses for being too lazy to potty-train their lobsters.