The soldiers brought Zarqawi to the division surgeon. As he lay on the table, the doc pulled out his stethoscope and listened to Zarq's chest.
After a moment or two, the doc shook his head and said, "Zarq has passed away."
"Are you sure?" said the soldiers? We need him for interrogation!
"Yes, I am sure. He's dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," one said! "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The doc rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the soldiers looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed Zarq from top to bottom. He then looked at the doc and shook his head.
The doc patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at Zarq from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the soldiers and said, as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead Zarqawi."
Then the doc then told the soldiers that this would cost them a case of Jack Daniels for wasting his time.
The soldiers, said, "A frigging case of Jack Daniels, just for you to tell us this mofo is dead?"
"The doc shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, a fifth of JD would have been sufficient, but because of the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now a whole case!