Posted on 06/05/2006 11:52:42 PM PDT by neverdem
IN recent weeks, three stories have hit the news with grimly similar plotlines: parents accused of killing their autistic children.
On April 12, in Hull, England, Alison Davies and her 12-year-old son, Ryan, fell to their deaths from a bridge over the River Humber, in an apparent murder-suicide. (A note was found in Ms. Davies's kitchen.) On May 14, in Albany, Ore., Christopher DeGroot, 19, was trapped inside a burning apartment. He died in a Portland hospital five days later, and his parents are charged with murder, accused of locking their son in the apartment alone. And on the same May Sunday, in Morton, Ill., Dr. Karen McCarron admitted to the police that she had, the day before, suffocated her 3-year-old daughter, Katherine, with a plastic garbage bag.
Family and friends have come to the defense of two of the parents involved. "Ryan was the focus and the purpose of her life," Alison Davies's sister told The Sunday Times, calling the double bridge jump "an act of love."
A friend of Dr. McCarron's — a fellow member of her local autism-support group — told a columnist for The Journal Star of Peoria, Ill., that Dr. McCarron had devoted her life to Katherine. "She never took a night off," the friend said. "She read every book. She was trying so hard, pursuing every lead."
Chilling words to any parent of a child with autism who remembers, as I do, reading every book, pursuing every lead and never taking a night off — because autism feels like a war you re-arm yourself nightly to wage. The comments suggest the parents may have been trying too hard. Perhaps they were frustrated that their efforts did not lead to greater improvement in their children. That would not be surprising, because dramatic improvement is what...
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
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I feel for these parents but, in nature, the mother will often smother her defective or sickly child. Maybe we're more like animals than We think.
In retrospect, one of the saddest posts I've ever made to FreeRepublic was the story of an elderly man who suffocated his Autistic son in a hospital bed after his son had a stroke. He just didn't think anyone else could take care of his son the way he did.
It was 1999. A year before my son was diagnosed with Autism.
These acts are unconscionable.
This is an interesting article. I recommend that those interested read it in its entirety. "Children are not cured, but they do get better" pretty well sums it up.A very practical outlook, in my opinion.
Agreed. It's amazing how adaptable these children can be if put on the right program at an early age.
A friend on a autism list told me that a little autistic student of hers, smothered his new baby sister to death last week. I have been weeping ever since. Those with autism in their world have many hurdles to jump!!
And better can be remarkable. At 10, my son is a far cry from the toddler who melted down when the sand was the wrong texture for drizzling. These days he embraces adventure, rides his bike, and repeats any story he tells five or six times. I remember thinking maybe we'd laugh someday at the lengths we went to when we were teaching him language — the flashcards, the drills, the repetitions. Now he's 10 and talking at last in his own quirky ways, and we don't laugh about the drills (though we laugh about plenty of other things). Language is a victory. So is connection and purposeful play. So are the simpler things: a full night's sleep, a tantrum-free day.
Through the volunteer work I do each summer, I’ve seen some autistic kids develop over the course of ten or twelve years. Sometimes, you look at a kid who is coloring a book or just paying attention to somebody talking, and you realize they’ve come a thousand miles in their development. I knew one boy named Henry, who at six, was non-verbal, violent, biting people and randomly screaming all day. By the time he was fourteen or so, he was a polite young boy who could read and hold a reasonable conversation. He spent years with the right professionals getting the right therapy to help him improve. (And the right medicine combination helped a real lot too.)
The scale of possible improvement varies so much from one autistic child to the next, but with help, they can make great strides.
The introduction to this article was seriously out of place though. I guess the point was to illustrate the frustrations people can feel raising an autistic child, but it came a little too close to "understanding" their actions. I don't understand the actions of anybody who kills any child, whether the child is handicapped or not.
Saving the full article to read later.
But those who see the child day to day often cannot discern the improvement. I was heartened to receive a phone call from a cousin who just saw my grandson for the first time in about 4 years. She was astonished that he greeted her by NAME (after prompting). Her name is Adrienne, and most children call her A, or Ade. Adrienne is hard to say, but he di so, quite clearly.
And then he started his little games, clearly teasing her. Obviously he was INTERACTING! This is a great step forward, but still a long way from where a 10 year old should be.
But, a diagnosis of autism affects the entire family and extended family two. My other daughter is very concerned about her boy (that's called projecting) who is very smart, but a little slow in human relationships. He doesn't have a lot of friends and doesn't enjoy the same activities asmany of them. (Duh. His parents don't enjoy sports, etc. and all of their friends are adults.) My daughter is determined to proved that her son has Asberger's, or a similar diagnosis.
I think the kid is just fine (although speech therapy would be helpful).
It just goes on and on.
Study: Explosive disorder affects 16 million
For Heart Health, Liquor Is Quicker for Women and Slower for Men
FReepmail me if you want on or off my health and science ping list.
I do so hope that Adam's experience will come to many others who are diagnosed as autistic. Adam's mom at one time was told he was mentally retarded.
I was initially told our son was mentally retarded at age 4. He is now 16 and his mentor believes he will drive one day.
Our daughter deposited him at ISU Sun. and attended an orientation. There they were told that evidently Adam's traits are not that uncommon among teenage boys. I wouldn't know. I never had any sons.
There was a whole list of concerns but she talked to one of his counselors and he's doing great. Seems like a normal teen age boy except that if they have a problem with him, it's to get him to leave math long enough to eat, etc.
They said he sneaked back to the math room to do more math and they had to tell him he can't go anywhere by himself. But at any rate, we're breathing a sigh of relief. He hasn't called home being homesick.
His coordination isn't real good. But he's driving but he's not real enthused about driving, which is good.
The best of luck to you and your son.
Daniel, is a trip and continues to amaze me. He is well behaved in school and has finally learned to read.
His best subject is math and towards the end of the last school year he was introduced to fractions.
He is also addicted to video games and reads the tv guide every Sunday.
Daniel bathes and brushes his teeth - to get him to do that on a regular basis took most of his life. But he nows has a mentor that will get on his case if he does NOT!
Adam, will be fine and you both need the break!
Addiction to video games . . . lack of attention to personal hygiene . . . yep, Adam's a normal teenage boy!
How old is your son?
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