That sounds just too familiar.
Fortunately, the close relative I sleep with loves her IRAS and 401k, which I manage with zero gold as per her wishes. She has one Krugerrand with a gold holder and a gold chain, which she wears. She had one Beanie Babie Doll and one Barbie doll which our grand daughter borrowed from her years ago. She also has a nice mink stole to go with her one St John's Knit Outfit with Gold Embroidery on the jacket.
Needless to say, I didn't marry her for her brains. Now I'm beginning to wonder about mine............