but it was on Bueller's day off.
Posted on 05/23/2006 7:27:22 PM PDT by dighton
Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma
.
As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.
My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No s**t dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.
While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.
but it was on Bueller's day off.
Funny, though the Burger King guy pings my gaydar too.
You forgot capt. norm. he's class of 98 too.
Sing praises to the Beer Gods for THAT!
Someone posted a pic of him from one of those ads. It's of a guy answering the front door and that Burger King is there, and the words "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" were printed below.
I'm surprised my hair didn't turn white from that...
I might have signed up in '98 but but I don't have any class. I'm hoping some will rub off on me.
Hilarious. IowaHawk strikes again.
Titled: My Ranger School Class
Maybe Will Pitt will do one of his bloviating essays vouching for this guy and try to get back in DU's good graces after his latest Fitzmas fairy tale.
Click the story link and check the face of empire. Make sure you aren't drinking anything.
LOL
Another fraud taken down. That Burger King dude gives me the willies.
Talking about yourself again, Steve?
That Burger King character is way too freaky. There is just something absolutely morbid about him. I immediately wondered why Burger King would make such an advertising mistake.
On the other hand, my five-year-old granddaughter thinks he's neat. They must be targeting a much younger age group.
I wish I could have said the same about my glass of water when I read this gem!
That day the Fort had a surprise visitor: Condoleezza Rice. She was in Texas to help Halliburton plan the Iraq invasion at Bush's nearby ranch, and had decided to check out the "fresh meat" at camp. As I waded through the muck, I heard her voice ring out - "him... him... oooo, definitely him." I looked up and saw Rice pointing at me, her eyes hungrily caressing my camos. She had personally selected me for Advanced SpecOps Ranger Superkiller training at King's Island Ohio, and a number of other 'duties' which you can read about in next month's Penthouse Forum.
The use of Bueller and fake Ranger allusions were perfect.
Hey, whatcha doin' with a pic of Richard Feynman up there?
OK. You have my curiosity at full alert.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Not as scary as this Burger King guy!
I got chills...
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