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Worried About GW's Poll Numbers?
NoDNC.com ^
| John Lillpop
Posted on 05/12/2006 12:58:14 PM PDT by woodb01
Thinking of Becoming a Liberal?
JOHN W LILLPOP
With George Bushs approval ratings in crash-landing mode, distraught conservatives are anxiously searching for answers.
The options? Move to Australia or commit suicide. Some really desperate folks are even thinking of becoming liberals!
To those undecided between suicide and becoming a liberal, please consider the inconsistency and irrational thinking needed to embrace the liberal agenda:
- Rising gasoline prices are devastating to working Americans, but protecting obscure organisms at the bottom of the food chain is of greater concern. Which is why drilling for oil & adding refining capacity are unacceptable.
- Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when it comes to George Soros, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and other liberals.
- Illegal aliens deserve drivers licenses to avoid breaking the law by driving illegally.
- The earning power of the average American worker is in serious decline; even so, America should grant amnesty to 20,000,000 illegal aliens who will work for lower wages and no benefits.
- Killing the sale of port security to UAE was necessary to protect home land security, but closing the borders with Mexico would unfairly scapegoat Hispanics.
- Bilingualism is essential in a tolerant, diverse society, except when it comes to Hispanics who are perfectly justified in refusing to learn English.
- Conservatives who work to preserve American culture and tradition are hate mongers. But immigrants from other nations must be allowed to retain their cultural identity at all costs.
- Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric; whereas a womans right to abort the life of an innocent child is inalienable.
- Starving an innocent, helpless victim like Terri Schaivo to death is fine, whereas using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal killer is not OK.
- Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal immigrants from Mexico invade America.
- Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated by law & called Affirmative Action.
- Masculinity & all things male are the source of all evil, whereas feminism is liberating & spiritual in nature. Jesus was probably female, truth be known!
- Freedom of speech must never be repressed, except when hurtful to any constituency of the Democrat party.
- Tax cuts are wrong if it means returning money to the people who actually paid taxes, but perfectly fine when sent to those who paid no taxes.
- Christmas, the Holy Bible & other symbols of Christianity must be quashed so as to offend no one; whereas, Ramadan, the Koran & symbols of Islam must be heavily promoted in the name of religious awareness & tolerance.
- Businesses are oppressive, fascist institutions that must not be allowed to grow too large, while big government, when run by Democrats, creates wealth & happiness & must be expanded.
- Military force must never be used, except when absolutely needed to advance interests not vital to the US, or to obscure a Democrat presidents sexual misconduct in the Oval Office.
The big question: Are you mindless enough to be a liberal? Or do wish to borrow my handgun?
- NoDNC.com © 2006 - all unchanged original work may be freely distributed.
- http://www.nodnc.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=539
TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: aliens; bush; elections; gibberish; politicalhumor; prolife; spacealiens; terrorism
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1
posted on
05/12/2006 12:58:18 PM PDT
by
woodb01
To: woodb01
Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal immigrants from Mexico invade America. Geez, the thread isn't even started, and the border hysteris have already taken it off topic!
2
posted on
05/12/2006 1:03:06 PM PDT
by
Plutarch
To: woodb01
Bush's low poll cause people to become liberal??????????
3
posted on
05/12/2006 1:05:10 PM PDT
by
bnelson44
(Proud parent of a tanker! (Charlie Mike, son))
To: Plutarch
Move to Australia or commit suicide.
Well I personally loved it in Austrailia when I was there for a vacation. However, I think that people are sweating the numbers too much. We see these numbers constantly and really until October I am not going to worry. However, I am extremely curious about this talking to by the President on Monday Night. It must be good because the TV stations were saying that it was unfair to ask during sweaps so you know he is going to give a homerun instead of pissing people off for missing 24 or House.
To: woodb01
....distraught conservatives are anxiously searching for answers....
Actually, this is pure bullsh1t.
Conservatives are not distraught. Liberal Republicans are.
5
posted on
05/12/2006 1:09:12 PM PDT
by
Paloma_55
(Still MAD as HELL!!!)
To: napscoordinator
Geez, is he going to be on when 24 is? I know what the prez has to say will be important but Jack has to kick Myles(s) butt Monday and that is more important!!!!
6
posted on
05/12/2006 1:11:15 PM PDT
by
newconhere
(bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. splat)
To: woodb01
It's "Los Illegales" fault senor. Not "la gasolina" or Iraq.
7
posted on
05/12/2006 1:11:20 PM PDT
by
dc-zoo
To: woodb01
Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when it comes to George Soros, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and other liberals. Bill Gates? He must be kidding. Libs despise Gates, regardless of how much money he donates to their causes.
8
posted on
05/12/2006 1:14:56 PM PDT
by
Denver Ditdat
("Deus Vult" is the answer to "Allahu Akbar")
To: Paloma_55
Conservatives are not distraught. Liberal Republicans are.Yep. The RINOs are hysterical.
9
posted on
05/12/2006 1:17:43 PM PDT
by
stands2reason
("Patriotism is the highest form of dissent." - Mark Steyn)
To: bnelson44
Whatever he says will do nothing to stop the unabated attack he has been under since well before the 2000 election. The only thing that will stop it will be the inauguration of the next president in January 2009.
10
posted on
05/12/2006 1:17:50 PM PDT
by
Phlap
(REDNECK@LIBARTS.EDU)
To: woodb01
A conservative "becoming a liberal" is like a fish "becoming" a horse. Good luck.
To: woodb01
Polls are **manufactured news** and often push polled for a liberal result.
YET.......they are like CRACK to politicos.
To: bnelson44
This Bush-bot loves the president just the way he is.
And I'm voting for him again in 2008, so there!
13
posted on
05/12/2006 1:19:50 PM PDT
by
OldFriend
(I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag.....and My Heart to the Soldier Who Protects It.)
To: Paloma_55
"Conservatives are not distraught. Liberal Republicans are."
Actually the "liberal" republicians are happy.
Borders are open, spending has not been higher, entitlement spending is at it's peak, No Klintonista has been punished, etc. Only 5 conservative judges on the bench in 5 years.
To: newconhere; napscoordinator
Darn tootin' "24" pre-empts everything else! Bush is on at 8pm EST.
To: newconhere
Geez, is he going to be on when 24 is? I know what the prez has to say will be important but Jack has to kick Myles(s) butt Monday and that is more important!!!!
I know what you mean. The problem is will it be shown again right away or will we have to wait until it can be repeated. However, I honestly don't know what time the President starts and maybe he will be on a short time. LOL.
To: butternut_squash_bisque
Darn tootin' "24" pre-empts everything else
That show is incredible!!!! From the first episode I believe I am addicted and don't have any interest in a 12-step program. LOL.
To: woodb01
Yesterday one of my fellow students, out of the blue, started talking about how it gave him a good feeling to pay taxes to the state, knowing that they would be put to a just and efficient use for the greater good of society. It was then that I realized that some stereotypes of Washingtonians exist for a damned good reason.
To: woodb01
This will all turn around by 2008. Hillary doesn't have a chance. The divisions between conservatives and wackos will lessen.
19
posted on
05/12/2006 2:36:58 PM PDT
by
mountainlyons
(Hard core conservative)
To: napscoordinator
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