Time to leak the I-RANT (What exactly did nuke kook write to the prez?) (satire)

Jewish World Review ^ | May 11, 2006 / 13 Iyar 5766 | James Lileks

[Northern Alliance]

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | News story: Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has sent an 18-page letter to President Bush. No word on whether it was handwritten in tiny type, margin to margin, and wrapped in tinfoil. Herewith are some excerpts:

Dear Infidel Crusader Zionist sock-puppet Saudi-lackey despoiler of Mesopotamia woman-touching pigdog fiendish (293 words excised) shah-licking son of a toad's offal: I trust this finds you well. I have much on my mind, and have taken the pen to unburden my breast. I have enclosed a self-addressed, stamped envelope should you wish to reply.

... ... Our people glow with pride over our nuclear efforts, sometimes literally. I repeat that the enrichment is for peaceful purposes only, and we seek only peace, and peace is our goal, and there is nothing we love more than peace. Except death. Sorry; forgot. Death is definitely number one. In third place of things we love, well, there were those nice ice-cream desserts they had at this little place in Tehran. When I was mayor I had them brought in on Fridays. Good times, good times. But once I found a hair.

[Northern Alliance]

Not great satire, but it did put a smile on my face. Anyway, I post, you decide.

[agere_contra]

"shah-licking son of a toad's offal" is pretty neat.