She's not taking offense at the wrong thing. If her instincts tell her that her husband is in a hostile environment he probably is.
Some doctors and staff do, indeed measure their patients for a coffin, bending the rules and "taking shortcuts" because by law-of-averages they will be right, say, 80% of the time. Of course, that means 2 in 10 times they will be wrong and "innocent" lives will be lost.
You were lucky with your mom and with your older friend, but not all hospitals work that way. Each has a culture of its own and it even varies from ward to ward within a hospital. Sometimes arrogance, sleep deprivation and "paternalism" get the best of the doctors and staff. I speak, unfortunately, from experience. I'm fighting an uphill battle to hold the doctors and hospital that treated my father accountable for their actions.
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So my thoughts are with this woman, and I would tell her to have your husband transferred out of there or walk into the hospital’s Risk Assessment office with a lawyer in tow.
It's probably her choice to move him for sure and if this is some hospital from hell, she should do so.