DING! You NAILED it.
This summarizes the dilemma perfectly. But not the evolution of public attitude.
In Iraq, we should not have attempted to "hold" territoy; We should have destroyed the place and made it impossible for them to both rebuild it and cause the U.S. further mischief. And simultaneously sent a signal to whomever wanted to be next to step up to the plate.
There is no question in my mind that if we had done so, Iran would not be posturing so comically today.
I know, that is the WWII template, but in its simplicity it would have done the job at greatly fewer casualties for us.
The main point here is that during WWII, for the last time the goal was not to "protect" the world's opinion of us, or to "win hearts and minds; it was merely to win. At the least number of casualties to ourselves.
The current "politically correct" war is an abomination and an obscenity: trading the lives of our countrymen for world 'brownie' points.
I would not fight in such a war, nor allow my children to. Fight to win, or surrender.