10 Things A Man Fears Most About Marriage

NBC13 ^ | 0501/2006

[Responsibility2nd]

When James Douglas Barron's girlfriend wanted to get married, he was, well, afraid. What threw this otherwise brave man into a fit if fear? Simple. He thought long-term commitment would ruin their fun relationship. Now that they aremarried (and happy), James thinks his prenuptial terror couldn't have been more amiss. In his book, She Wants a Ring -- and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing he offers advice to other commitment-phobes and along the way gives women a glimpse into the male psyche.

"For a guy, the decision to get married is a series of educated guesses," says Barron. "For some women -- not all -- it's intuition. That's why it's so terrifying for men. They feel as though they're at sea without a paddle while women are sailing through the water on course." Ready for some real insight from a real guy? Some are more serious than others, but here are James' top 10 reasons why men (even your man) may be afraid to get hitched:

1. The life sentence: "For better or worse." (Clank! Cell door shut!)

2. Giving up that dream of tasting the fruits of all nations (flitting from woman to woman in a glorious bath of love and lust).

3. The "What If?" complex (as in, What if I fall even more in love with another woman?).

4. Divorce (as in betting on a loser).

5. Replicating his parents' failed marriage. (Or replicating his parents' happy marriage -- and one day calling his wife "Angel," "Sugarplum" or "Darl.")

6. Surrendering his post as president and CEO of the firm Fun. Then having to answer to a board of directors in a firm called Compromise, fully knowing every decision can come under killjoy scrutiny.

7. Becoming an active member in the Tamed Husband fraternity.

8. The Blah Life (boredom, overfamiliarity, and routine).

9. Surrendering quiet, control, space, privacy, watching ESPN all night, poker and suds with the guys, cigar breath, stinky sneakers ...

10. Giving up Erotic Break-the-Guest-Room-Fold-out-Couch Sex for Regulated You-Do-This, I-Do-That, Now-Let's-Sleep Sex.

Excerpted from She Wants a Ring -- and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing: How a Man Can Overcome His Fears of Commitment and Marriage 2001 Quill, A Division of Harper Collins

[Responsibility2nd]

Only 10?

[beyond the sea]

1. Doing the dishes.

[Doogle]

..his mother-in-law and the 9 divorce lawyers.


Doogle

[FormerACLUmember]

The corrupt Divorce Courts and the SUPER-corrupt FemiNazi controlled Family Courts seem to have been totally ignored!

[Romanov]

Remembering to put the toilet seat down!

[Argus]

No mention of the in-laws?

[BreitbartSentMe]

This calls for an oldie, but a goodie:

---

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[apackof2]

What a weanie!

Ya think John Wayne had a list like this?

Good Grief, this is a list written for immature narcissistic metrosexuals

[Dog]

Ironic someone with the screen name Responsibility who be posting this thread..

[Enchante]

Hard to believe Bill Clinton ever took on the ball-and-chain that is Hillary - guess he knew it was essential to his political aspirations to appear to be a "family man" but he thought he could "have it all" by signing on with Hillarity AND continuing to play the field with every babe in sight. Despite much public embarrassment, I guess we can say he got away with it since he served two terms as President and is now a very wealthy man for cashing in on his prominence. I wouldn't want his life or his morals, for sure, but he did succeed in his own terms!!

[dubie]

I have a headache?

[Responsibility2nd]

Ironic. But what do I know? Being happily married for 26 years.....

I guess I'm poking fun at the single slobs that this might apply to,

[beyond the sea]

Mothe In Law

****

Satan should be her name

To me they're bout the same

Every time I open my mouth

She steps in, tries to put me out

How could she stoop so low

I come home with my pay

She asks me what I made

She thinks her advice is the constitution

But if she would leave that would be the solution

And don't come back no more

Mother In Law

[Normal4me]

If I wanted a wife, I'd steal someone elses. ;-)

[angelanddevil2]

I think my mom makes a good mother in law. I had a terrible, terrible mother in law. In this case it was the husband's mom the bad one.

[DTogo]

re #9: I pity the gal who marries this guy.

[se_ohio_young_conservative]

ahhh. Some of us guys have mothers that got us used to doing dishes when we were just tall enough to reach the sink. LOL

I fear nothing about marriage personally. When I meet the right girl and the time is right, it will happen and I will have to handle it. yup..

[null and void]

Good chioce. He'll thank you for it...

[Our man in washington]

I'm getting married later this month.

She's brilliant, witty, charming, caring, and of course conservative.

Why should I fear this? I've been searching for a woman this good for ages.

[AdamSelene235]

Ya think John Wayne had a list like this?

Remind me how many times John Wayne was married again?