Posted on 04/26/2006 12:14:38 AM PDT by raccoonradio
A male member of the Kennedy family has been involved in an automobile accident that was totally his fault.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
Fortunately, this time no one suffocated in a ’67 Oldsmobile Delmont at the bottom of a tidal pond.
Come on down, Patches Kennedy, Boy Congressman from Rhode Island.
And what’s up with Patches this spring? First he takes a hammer to the mouth in Pawtucket, and now he’s driving around Rhode Island like an idiot, or should I say, a Kennedy?
Does Patches have some issues - I mean, other than the ones we already know about, the “medications,” the boat, the women, the fact that he’s more incoherent than his worthless father and is generally dumber than two rocks.
This time, the question must be asked, what’s up with Patches’ handwriting? Check out the Portsmouth Police Department accident report he filled out. Is that the handwriting of a 38-year-old member of Congress?
It looks like it was written by a chimpanzee, or a 2-year-old.
Or a Kennedy.
It was Saturday, April 15 - Tax Day, not that that means much to a Kennedy. They want to raise your taxes, not theirs. Just ask Ted which state they filed Grandma’s will in. (Hint: it wasn’t Massachusetts.)
Patches’ trust fund bought him a house in Portsmouth, R.I., a few years back. On this Tax Day, at 10 a.m., he was on his way to the local drug store - fill in your own Patches Kennedy-at-the-DRUG-store joke here. It was a CVS.
Patches was behind the wheel of a 2003 Crown Vic - a gas guzzler, but then, like taxes, fuel conservation is something for the Little People to worry about, not one of the Beautiful People. The Ford is owned, by the way, by The Friends of Pat Kennedy, Inc. Must be nice.
So Patches is trying to turn off Turnpike Avenue into the CVS parking lot, and he’s in a hurry . . . if you know what I mean. Why should a Kennedy have to wait until the car with the right of way goes by in the other direction?
As one witness put it:
“A vehicle was in front of V#2 (the Patches mobile) making a left into CVS, and that V#2 turned directly behind the unidentified vehicle turning without hesitation.”
Didn’t the other driver know who he was?
The other motorist, a 46-year-old guy from Bristol, slammed his 2000 Nissan into Patches’ Crown Vic. By Kennedy standards, it was a fender-bender. Not only did not a single blonde die, no one was even paralyzed, or raped. Of course, Patches’ no doubt extremely urgent trip to the drugstore was delayed, which may be the cause of his almost indecipherable scribbling. Dammit, he needed some more . . . shampoo?
A call was placed to his Rhode Island office yesterday, but was not returned. I am somewhat puzzled by the police officer’s description of Patches’ physical condition:
“Appeared Normal.”
Nobody who scribbles like that is normal. Look, no one is expecting even mediocrity from the boy - this is the Congressman who once decried the fact that middle-class Americans were having trouble “making mends meet.” But given the trouble he gets into, shouldn’t he have someone on the payroll just for moments like this?
The accident wasn’t reported in the newspapers until almost a week after it happened. The story ended up in the D section of the Providence Journal, under the East Bay Sports Bulletin Board and a big story headlined, “Two arrested after Newport tagging spree.”
Probably six people saw the story. Luckily, one of them faxed it to me. And so we have another chapter in the pathetic biography of Patches Kennedy.
The chapter’s title: “When You Need, I Mean Really Need Something at the Drugstore, Send A Flunky.”
Your dad could have told you that, Patches.
The police report, PDF file
http://rope.wrko-am.fimc.net/bulger/042506_accident.pdf
look especially for Image Description: Operator # 2
“making mends meet.”
Sounds like either the usual liquid diet consequences surfacing or perhaps 'tis a touch of dyslexia.
Another "Kennedy" given a pass by the media. I'm surprised it made the paper, any paper, at all!!
Just which Kennedy fathered this particular one? I have to admit, I have a great deal of trouble keeping up with the offspring. I think it's aversion or, maybe, repression.
Is Howie Carr still breathing? :)
Son of the Swimmer and Ted's ex-wife Joan.
"Chip off the old block". From SENATORIAL PRIVILEGE,
via ytedk.com (note "stretched out on the front seat and hiding...."):
"Ted Kennedy's Driving Record:
- Ted Kennedy had a record of serious traffic violations. Their nature formed a pattern of deliberate and repeated negligent operation. Particularly bothersome was a June, 1958 conviction for "reckless driving."
- On March 14, 1958, Deputy Sheriff Thomas Whitten had been on routine highway patrol outside Charlottesville, Virginia, when an Oldsmobile convertible ran a red light, sped off, then cut its tail lights to elude pursuit. A license check revealed the car belonged to Edward M. Kennedy, a 26-year-old law student attending the University of Virginia. Kennedy had previously been fined $15 for speeding in March 1957.
- Whitten was on patrol at the same intersection a week later, he testified, "And here comes the same car. And to my surprise, he did exactly the same thing. He raced through the same red light, cut his lights when he got to the corner and made the right turn." Whitten gave chase. He found the car in a driveway, apparently unoccupied. Looking inside, he discovered the driver, Teddy Kennedy, stretched out on the front seat and hiding. Whitten issued a ticket for "reckless driving; racing with an officer to avoid arrest; and operating a motor vehicle without an operator's license (Mass. registration.)"
- Kennedy's attorneys were able to win numerous postponements, but eventually he was convicted on all charges and paid a $35 fine. Court officials never filed the mandatory notice of the case in the public docket, however, and Kennedy's name had not appeared on any arrest blotter. Instead, a local reporter discovered the case when he spotted 5 warrants in Kennedy's name in a court cash drawer.
- Three weeks after his trial, Ted Kennedy was caught speeding again, and still operating without a valid license.
- In December 1959, Kennedy was stopped again for running a red light and fined $10 and costs. In Whitten's view, "That boy had a heavy foot and a mental block against the color red. He was a careless, reckless driver who didn't seem to have any regard for speed limits or traffic ordinances."
- The offenses in Virginia had occurred on Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts driver's license, but mysteriously neither the Registry of Motor Vehicles nor the office of probation in Cambridge had any record of the out-of-state convictions. Had it been revealed at the inquest, the Senator's history of negligence and reckless driving would have been further evidence to support a charge of manslaughter in the Chappaquiddick accident.
~ Senatorial Privilege by Leo Damore
Patrick Kennedy is the 38 yr old son of the swimmer and Joan Kennedy, also a recovering cocaine addict.
I don't think he is 'recovering' from the looks of his handwriting.
I mean, really, my own handwriting is pretty lousy.... But compared to Patches', mine is elegant and highly legible. He could take penmanship lessons from a busy doctor scribbling a perscription.
what about the STOOPID Rhode Islanders who keep elececting this scumbag?
I've got no use for the Kennedy's but this story is a bit over the top. The Crown Vic is not that hard on gas. They get about 26 mpg which isnt bad at all for their size.
The author did some investigting it seems. It show the depths the Kennedys go to, to hide their assets and avoid taxes. I wonder which state they did file Grandma's will in.
They know all the tricks. The car registered to a political agency, the home bought by a trust fund
probably some way they hid that so they dont pay taxes either. This slime that brags about looking out for the little guy is looking out for themselves, always has , always will.
"I wonder which state they did file Grandma's will in. "
Florida.
-bttt-
CVS must still be carrying EZ Widers.
Howie Carr is a piece of work.
You all don't how hard it is to BE a Kennedy. If you did, you'd be feeling sorry for the poor boy.
When a Kennedy fails the bar exam, {and so many seem to} everyone laughs -- but they just don't realize that the drinking and womanizing that are a necessary part of family gatherings, sometimes get in the way of study.
When a Kennedy gets into trouble while driving drunk, people point fingers -- but they just don't realize that It Is Difficult to Drive Well After Drinking. It's a burden Kennedy's have to bear.
And If Kennedy's try to avoid paying taxes, that they happily heap on others, People just don't realize -- If the Kennedys don't protect their money, who will? And if the Kennedys don't have money -- well then they'd just be another disfunctional Irish family of drunks and womanizers. It's for our good that they sacrifice themselves.
The Drive-by Media drove right on by this one.
Probably six people saw the story. Luckily, one of them faxed it to me. And so we have another chapter in the pathetic biography of Patches Kennedy.
Bwah hah hah hah.
Holy cats, what's with that handwriting?!
"The Crown Vic is not that hard on gas. They get about 26 mpg which isnt bad at all for their size. "
Give me a break! What are you smokin? These suckers are lucky if they do 20 on the highway.
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