New rule: NEVER USE THE WORD "YOU" WHEN DEBATING. It personalizes the debate when there is no need to do so. Causes misunderstandings and makes people feel like they have been attacked. Just state your opinion and back it up with facts if you can. If you can't then state "this is just my opinion". This rule is the first rule of arbitration, and the first rule I lay down when counseling married couples. They are allowed to talk as long as they want to about how they see the situation, but cannot use the word "you" when talking to the spouse. Try it, it works. (ducking)
Thank you. Ooooops...
This is probably THE best statement made on this thread. You is accusatory. You did, you said, you are, etc incites a personal connection. Instead, make it, I think, I believe, I am, which focuses the subject back towards the postee, not the poster. It will help out tons if we all can remember this.
Spoken truly, you have (ooops) :-)