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Good luck on your style but when your oldest gets to be around 11 or 12, you might want to consider letting up a little bit. By then, you will need to trust them to make the right decisions. For a counter perspective, read the book by John Rosemond called "Teenproofing your home." Rosemond is a Christian and a child psychologist but don't let the latter descriptor fool you as he believes in raising children the way grandma raised them in decades past. I have a very strong-willed eldest child and if I hammered on every one of her decisions I would create a very rebellious teenager. She's been raised correctly (like yours) and I now have to give her a little freedom. She will NOT get "Gossip Girls" but she is allowed music and other items that my wife and I do not prefer but is still not unGodly.

Thank you my FRiend for your advice, and I do take advice in consideration.
I have explaned to my oldest that she is my first 10 year old and therefore I get to learn with her. I have explaned to her that my objective is to keep her safe physically, emotinally, and spiritually and that if I error I intend to error on the side of keeping her safe. She and I (so far) have a very good relationship where we discuss anything - and I do mean anything.
A trusting relationship is a package deal and goes far deeper than just doing what I say to the letter. I believe it is building a good biblical foundation, then helping her understand why certain decisions are made, so she can make good decisions herself.
In her short life there have been a few object lessons where she learned that the more I can trust her to stay inside the boundries that I set, the more she gets to do more things - and she is very trustworthy. Also, since she is my first 10 year old, I may miss a time when the boundry should be moved and she should be given more responsability. Back at home, the edges of the boundry are something that I am willing to discuss, and a couple of times she has made her case well and I moved the boundry. What is not negotiable is whether or not she has to abide by those boundries.
She seems to understand (again so far) that I want her do do any and everything she wants to do that will not harm her. She also understands (for now) that I see dangers that she may not see - and she depends on me to point those things out to her so she can see them.
The criteria for the music, movies, etc. is not that I like them. The criteria is that they be not harmful physically, emotionally, or spiritually. She regularly brings me CD's to listen to and points out songs that I may need to pay particular attention to. Sometimes they are ok, sometimes not. If there is a particular song that is unacceptable, I just cut her a CD without that song on it.
While I there is no doubt that I have the final say, I do not run our house in a "my way or the highway" fashon.
So far it has worked well. My oldest wants to do what is right and looks to us as parents to help her understand what is right. She generally makes very good decisions, and frequently discusses with me the options and variables she needs to consider when making decisions. I am not stupid enough to think that it won't change, and I ask daily in prayer for wisdom to understand how to handle those changes.
I thank you for you prespective and suggestions - I am always open to ways to be a better parent.
I found a book by John Rosemond named Teen-Proofing Fostering Responsible Decision Makin , would this be the book you reccomend?

Cordially,
GE