Okay, thanks, I know what you're talking about. Happens all too often. In a healthy church community, the pastor has people (sometimes the leaders or elders but not always) he can lean on and confide in, but alas not all churches are healthy.
"...he pastor has people (sometimes the leaders or elders but not always) he can lean on and confide in..."
Trust me... you're lucky if you find 2-3 such people in your entire career.
When laity confide in their best friend, they're risking embarrasment. Clergy risk their job, career... everything.