"...he pastor has people (sometimes the leaders or elders but not always) he can lean on and confide in..."
Trust me... you're lucky if you find 2-3 such people in your entire career.
When laity confide in their best friend, they're risking embarrasment. Clergy risk their job, career... everything.
It is not just ministers that cannot confide - members also have to be selective in what they confide.
There are wives you know, that often gossip.
Therefore, I would never discuss any very personal matters that I would not want the members to know about.