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What's Happening to Boys? [WaPo op-ed column]
Washington Post ^ | 3/30/06 | Leonard Sax

Posted on 03/31/2006 4:35:06 AM PST by Timeout

What's Happening to Boys?

The romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," which opened as the No. 1 movie in the nation this month, has substantially exceeded pre-launch predictions, taking in more than $64 million in its first three weeks.
[snip]

...a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He's still living at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with his buddies (two young men who are also still living with their parents) and having sex.
[snip]

...According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women. Why?
[snip]

...We've batted around lots of ideas. Maybe the problem has to do with the way the school curriculum has changed. Maybe it has to do with environmental toxins that affect boys differently than girls (not as crazy an idea as it sounds). Maybe it has to do with changes in the workforce, with fewer blue-collar jobs and more emphasis on the service industry. Maybe it's some combination of all of the above, or other factors we haven't yet identified.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: boys; failuretolaunch; feminism; males; marijuana; masculinity; medicalmarijuana; men; moviereview; wodlist
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To: cyborg
You can't be serious!

I'm perfectly serious. What do you want for your kids? Make it clear to them at every stage.

81 posted on 03/31/2006 5:59:01 AM PST by bondjamesbond (Rice '08)
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To: Timeout
LOL just of the top of my head

1)Maybe they like living at home

2) maybe they cant afford to move after all the rent on single flats is a hell of a lot more expensive now than it used to be and in a lot of places wages have not kept up with rent prices.

There could be lots of reasons apart from its all the feminists or governments fault.

82 posted on 03/31/2006 6:00:29 AM PST by tonycavanagh (We got plenty of doomsayers where are the truth sayers)
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To: bondjamesbond

I don't see how it's healthy to tell a young child you're going to kick them out. Not everyone is into this hardass lifestyle promoted here. It's just not healthy. I want the very best for my children. You just found something that works for you but don't think it works for EVERYONE.


83 posted on 03/31/2006 6:00:57 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: kitkat
When a young man wanted sex, he was expected to get married and to be able to support a family. That was a strong incentive for him to get a job and work hard.

I have a feeling that is the the biggest factor. Why do us men go out and become a doctor? So we can get more 'chicks'. Why do we go to the gym? So we can get more 'chicks'.. How many men honestly work out so that they are healthier?

84 posted on 03/31/2006 6:00:59 AM PST by ran15
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To: cyborg

He's serious.. and he is right. See my posts.


85 posted on 03/31/2006 6:01:09 AM PST by bella1
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To: bella1

His OPINION is right. You share his opinion. I do not. That's your culture but it's just not been mine.


86 posted on 03/31/2006 6:02:23 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: cyborg

I know many "healthy", nearly 30 year old males living at home. That "healthy" way of living is nearly killing their parents. Our 22 year old got the message last year that this "healthy" relationship was putting us in an early grave. He is now on his own and we are all happier and "healthier" for it.


87 posted on 03/31/2006 6:04:08 AM PST by bella1
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To: Calm_Cool_and_Elected
And the trick here, too, is that BOTH mommy and daddy have to stick to the plan. I've seen it where the parents will decide to get tough, they make plans to get the kid out, deliver the ultimatum, and then one parent sabotages the whole thing at the last minute and says, "We're not doing this. I don't see how it's helping things to put our kid on the street."

Guess what? You don't help your 20-something offspring by letting them sit around your house jobless (or have a job and blow all the money on partying, DVDs, and toys). It's not love, it's sick. The only hope for straightening them out is for them to KNOW that they're really out of the house and done their last hustle on mom & dad.

88 posted on 03/31/2006 6:04:32 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity ("Sharpei diem - Seize the wrinkled dog.")
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To: Fintan

That looks like Annette Benning.


89 posted on 03/31/2006 6:04:43 AM PST by angcat
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To: bella1

That's your experience.


90 posted on 03/31/2006 6:06:11 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: Timeout
I belive the problem is motivation. Why should they work hard?
They do just enough to support themselves, why do anything more. Starting a family these days is just to risky, and without a family to support there isn't a reason to work hard.

The government has replaced the father, but men will not work hard just to support the government. This will not work long term. - I apologise for my poor english, hopefully it will improve since this is just my first post.
91 posted on 03/31/2006 6:06:15 AM PST by cicero106
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To: caddie

Anyone following your post would be teaching a son to have a big fat chip on his shoulder, like yours. :-/


92 posted on 03/31/2006 6:07:16 AM PST by linda_22003
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To: cyborg
I don't see how it's healthy to tell a young child you're going to kick them out. Not everyone is into this hardass lifestyle promoted here. It's just not healthy.

If you let your 14-year-old plan to live in the house until indefinitely, they will plan to live in the house indefinitely. On the other hand, if you tell them to plan to move out, go to college, and be independent from the time they are 18 (less college expenses, which are the parent's responsibility), this will be their plan.

So which is the better plan? Which one to you want for your kid?

Keep in mind, that things do not always go according to plan. If my kids screw up at 20 and need to move back in, I will treat them with love and compassion, and help them as necessary. But that is not their plan.

93 posted on 03/31/2006 6:08:24 AM PST by bondjamesbond (Rice '08)
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To: Timeout
Feminism, and its legacy, certainly contributes to the problem.

Parental indulgence and consumption are major contributing factors - kids today are reluctant to give up luxuries they view as entitlements just to gain independence. Especially if parents don't push the issue.

As someone stated earlier, it's no longer viewed as embarassing to be living in your parents basement at 35. As a society, we've come to accept a wide range of behaviors that would have been highly prejudicial 30 years ago.

94 posted on 03/31/2006 6:09:28 AM PST by xsrdx (Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas)
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To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
I've seen it where the parents will decide to get tough, they make plans to get the kid out, deliver the ultimatum, and then one parent sabotages the whole thing at the last minute and says, "We're not doing this. I don't see how it's helping things to put our kid on the street."

Bet it was the mother who said that. Women think with their heart - men think with their head, that's why men are supposed to be the head of the household. That may sound old fashioned but that's the way it was meant to work.

95 posted on 03/31/2006 6:09:59 AM PST by Aquamarine
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To: bondjamesbond

Kids should have a life plan. I just don't understand the 'get them out when they're 18' thing though. Maybe it really is a cultural thing. My family at home has three generations living in the same big house. Grandmother is upstairs and son is downstairs with his family.


96 posted on 03/31/2006 6:10:30 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: kitkat
That was a strong incentive for him to get a job and work hard.

I'd have to disagree. I know my fair share of lazy dads. Good work ethic isn't an outcome of marriage alone, it is something that an individual develops over time through environment and family. When I was single, I worked my butt off - despite my fair share of "girlfriends".

97 posted on 03/31/2006 6:10:37 AM PST by stacytec (Nihilism, its whats for dinner)
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To: rarestia
I'm 26 and have to move back in with my mother. It sucks, but it has to happen. I work a white collar job, making a very good living, but I'm a single white male. The job market in the Tampa Bay area is atrocious, and I just can't find a place to live. This article is bunk, because it paints people like me as being lazy and unmotivated compared to my female counterparts.

...uh...move

I haven't lived at home since I was 13. Got a scholarship to a private naval prep military school and found out that being on my own was a lot better than living with mom and dad.

If you move anywhere there are good jobs while you're young you'll realize how big the world is and how many option we as Americans truly have.

The military does show you the world and provide access to great training programs and scholarship opportunities...... plus you get to shoot things and blow stuff up.

and that's really what boys like to do..hahahahahaha

98 posted on 03/31/2006 6:16:23 AM PST by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: bondjamesbond; Timeout
So which is the better plan? Which one to you want for your kid?

Another ENORMOUS contributor - parents today make enormous sacrifices to ensure their children do not have to face adversity, or difficulty.

Shielding children from adversity is always counterproductive, as real life is almost nothing but dealing with, adapting to, and overcoming complex problems.

Parents seem to have forgotten that character is largely formed by dealing with problems and difficulties, and it cannot be purchased or inherited.

99 posted on 03/31/2006 6:17:29 AM PST by xsrdx (Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas)
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To: Timeout
"fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home"

Surely this isn't true! If so this country is in big, big trouble. You can't have 1/3 of the men in a country drop out. Eventually their parents will die and then what? I just don't think I believe this statistic.
100 posted on 03/31/2006 6:17:30 AM PST by pepperdog
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