Posted on 03/31/2006 4:35:06 AM PST by Timeout
The romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," which opened as the No. 1 movie in the nation this month, has substantially exceeded pre-launch predictions, taking in more than $64 million in its first three weeks.
[snip]
...a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He's still living at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with his buddies (two young men who are also still living with their parents) and having sex.
[snip]
...According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women. Why?
[snip]
...We've batted around lots of ideas. Maybe the problem has to do with the way the school curriculum has changed. Maybe it has to do with environmental toxins that affect boys differently than girls (not as crazy an idea as it sounds). Maybe it has to do with changes in the workforce, with fewer blue-collar jobs and more emphasis on the service industry. Maybe it's some combination of all of the above, or other factors we haven't yet identified.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
"My daughter is a third generation college grad, and she says she knew that she was expected to go to college when she was in kindergarten."
Same here. The expectations you are raised with are the ones that seem "normal" to you and you tend to fulfill them. My parents both had PhDs, so with two masters degrees, I'm still the "dummy" of the family.
Bump for the men of the future.
Short of your parents or family needing you in the home to care for them.. what 20 or 30 something man can look himself in the mirror every day if they are still living at home?
You can't get more of a loser than that...
Let alone what pathetic female would actually have sex with such a loser?
My "requirements" are pretty simple: low crime. I've lived in too many bad neighborhoods, and my current complex has turned into a ghetto for the disaffected hispanic masses of Tampa. I'm honestly one of the few white males left in the area, and I never leave my apt. without my XD40 on my hip, regardless of the time of day.
I don't have much of a choice concerning my move back with my mother. I've worked for 4 years since graduating from college to get my credit in line. I have a stellar credit rating and very low debt, but I have no assets to bring to the table for a home loan. In this part of the state, two teachers, married, at the area's teacher's salary cannot afford a starter home, which is apparently in the low 200's.
I've looked around, and even the condos in this area are out of reach. If I lower my standards to going back to the ghettos, I'll wind up with a property that will never grow in value.
And for those who say to get another apartment: last weekend I went out apt. hunter. After 13 complexes, 11 of them were going condo and the other 2 had misc. issues (no pets, for instance). It's impossible to find a decent place to live, so I'm going to help mom around the house, fix it up, clean up the yard, and maybe she'll leave it to me and move out to a condo of her own (she's talked about this).
And on the issue at hand: boys are not growing up to be men anymore. Why should they? Women are all independent and want to be the breadwinners... why shouldn't the man stay at home, take care of the kids and play video games?
I'm a traditionalist when it comes to men. I want to be the breadwinner. Problem is that women are stubborn and don't like that I push back. I've railed on plenty of male vs. female issues as of late. I don't need to get into it here.
I don't have the option to relocate, as my company is only based in Tampa.
There's plenty of land in the area, but a lot of it is scheduled to be developed. My current commute is less than 15 minutes. If I moved to the nearest rural area, it would be 1 hour 15 minutes. There's a tradeoff there, for sure.
Friends of ours just transferred to the Tampa area for work reasons. They have commented on how busy the area is and how unfriendly the people are. Of course, they lived in small town Northern Michigan where you knew and said hello to everyone. It has been a bit of a culture shock. And of course, Michigan empties out of retirees that head to Florida for the winter. We can always tell when they come back, as we have to drive defensively once again (if you know what i mean).
Parents parents parents. Boys are focused on sports while girls are focused on school. Boys are pushed into little league, football, hockey, basketball in hopes that some day he will make the pros, not the deans list. So, when that doesn't work out, which is what usually happens, the boy is lost.
Also, boys at a young age are working less and less. There aren't many jobs out there for a teen boy. Summer construction jobs are all taken by imports. So, instilling a hard driving work ethic is difficult.
But, it's all how you start your kids out. It's all how a parent teaches their child to prioritize. Lots of times I hear the words, boys will be boys, from parents who simply wave off idiot behavior.
Bottom line, it's upbringing. Society should have very little effect if one teaches their child to have a strong will, study and work ethic.
Brilliant analysis, and wonderfully written.
It is not a matter of me having a chip on my shoulder, or my son having a chip on his shoulder.
I am not trying to be provocative. I am just trying to point out what I see as really fatal flaws in our society.
Denigrating males, making them like women, making fun of anyone who displays manly qualities, encouraging females to have families without being married or without the input of husbands, is a total disaster for our country.
Encouraging young males to hang around the house until they are 30 is part of the problem.
Calling males provocative or saying they have a 'chip on their shoulder' when they point out things such as I have done, is just another specious, vague, uncritical, meaningless put-down, which I reject. It is like saying, "all boys are just troublemakers". It is lame.
If you can refute anything I have said in this post or the last, please do.
Tampa folks are not entirely evil, but yes, it's a society where you're inconveniencing the idiots in the drive thrus (incidentally, I don't eat fast food). We're also an armed society here, so it's better not to cast eyes askance lest you get into something with the locals. A lot of non-native Floridians think we're psycho. I just say that I'm prepared.
Tampa is WAY too big for its britches, and that's the biggest problem with housing in the area. Everyone wants to live near work, and as a result, the area is bloated, the roads are always congested, etc. I've lived here for 25 years, and it just gets worse. The old days were nice.
They start early, too. Sadly, I've seen this in the way some relatives treat my son -- he's the only male child in a family with seven female cousins, and the complaints about how "noisy and agressive" he is -- just doing "boy-things," like playing with Tonka trucks -- are ridiculous.
It's just too convenient to blame everything on people you don't like - "homos, dykes, and women in the workplace." Sometimes we have to take responsibility for what WE do, not what people around us are perceived to do TO us.
I'll be moving to Palm Harbor, which is just south of Holiday. The problem is that there are no state taxes in Florida, land is dirt cheap (compared to the north), and as a result, people from the northeast and upper midwest are amassing in Florida and driving out the natives.
Sorry to say it, but the folks from those aforementioned areas are a virus to those of us who've lived here our entire lives. I just want to buy a home, but I can't do it thanks to the inflated housing market here. Cash out your $500K+ home in the northeast, move to Florida and buy a $300K home (comparable in size to the house you sold), pay off the debts you might have and spend spend spend! Clog the roads, drive up the cost of living, and boom... you've got a population issue in an area that can't support itself.
Just look at employers in the area. Those of us who need help can't get it, because employers aren't adjusting their books to support their employees. Cost of living increases each year are dreadfully below what the real cost of living is for the area. I have to live with mom and essentially use her to supplement my income. It's bringing back the idea of extended family, for sure, and she doesn't mind because I'm throwing her money every month and paying some bills to help her out.
Your Stewart Smalley encounter group verbiage is another part of the problem.
Homos, dykes, and women in the workplace are in fact detrimental to American society. Homos and dykes because they have no respect for the norms of society, yet they clamor for respect and power in the same society's institutions. Not to improve society, but to corrupt and subvert it from within.
Women in the workplace: Too many insist on doing this, and what it has done is created a diastrous quality of life for two whole generations of American kids. Their mom is gone when they leave and come home from school, and they are raised by daycare workers or the TV (choose your poison). Having women in the workplace has, at the same time, driven down the real wage of a worker to the extent that now, both man and wife MUST work outside the home.
So, it is a bad thing, sorry to have to tell you.
And, if I might add something, it is a character flaw when, seeing something that others are doing which is wrong, we instead blame ourselves. It is cowardly to do so. It is not manly.
Such self-hating wimpishness and introspection is another trait that society has forced on American males over the past 100 years, and it is a really bad thing to be fought at every turn.
So, no, I will not take responsibility for the fact that these negative influences are ruining American society. It is not my fault, it is the fault of homos, dykes, and women in the workplace.
I'm talking about the difference between things you can control (you) and the things you can't control. You might hate the fact that women work, but surely you don't think you can personally force them all to go back home.
So what's your response? You can either fume about how things are, or figure out how to succeed within the current framework. So far, I just see you at the complaining stage.
I'm not going back home to make you feel better. :) The loss of many tens of thousands of dollars of income would NOT make the man in my life feel better! :-D
I hear you. I personally cant imagine retiring to Florida because of all the people. At least for five months out of the year you lose some of your population as the retirees return north. I love the view of the Ocean but move five miles inland and no thanks. Good luck to you. Seems to me that real estate might be the job to have in Florida.
Consider heading south too, North Port, Ft Myers and Cape Coral are still affordable (although not for long). I fled FL 8 years ago for greener pastures, I miss the west coast and fishing off the sand bars - but paying the bills was a bigger priority.
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