Posted on 03/23/2006 4:39:44 PM PST by SJackson
Cheney Should Resign Now, and Go Shoot Something! Sarah Whalen, sawhalen@xula.com.edu
US Vice President Dick Cheney on Sunday Faced the Nation and told America hes here to stay.
Ive now been elected to a second term, Cheney pronounced, as though he alone won the presidency, and Ill serve out my term.
Cheney added that his motives are pure because unlike most vice presidents, he has no presidential designs.
If thats so, mused CBS interviewer Bob Schieffer, then why not resign and make room for someone who does?
Nobody has suggested it to me, was Cheneys bland response.
Well.
Well, well, well.
Is that all it takes to get rid of Cheney?
Just suggesting?
Okay.
Consider it done.
I formally suggest to Cheney that he immediately resign.
Whew, that was easy!
Now, am I on Homeland Securitys enemies of America list yet? But more importantly....
....Is he gone yet?
Of course, Cheney wont resign. Hes worked too hard to place his wife, daughters and son-in-law in high-paying government jobs, and to achieve his vision of America one of secret courts, secret judges, secret home searches, warrantless eavesdropping on citizenry, holding suspects in endless detention without charging them with crimes, and torturing prisoners.
Few men have the stomach, let alone the sweat glands, for Cheneys grand vision of America. If Cheney leaves, Bushs secret empire might just collapse.
Some call Cheney the co-president. To some others he is the Grand Inquisitor. Every ruthless leader suppressing terrorist insurgencies needs one.
Queen Isabella had Tomas de Torquemada, who helped her rid what eventually became Spain of its Jews and Muslims. Under Torquemadas ruthless, relentless pursuit of Spanish national security, not even conversion or apostasy could cure Jews and Muslims of their religious association.
Medieval Spain considered them permanent insurgents. Pre-Spain tried Jews and Muslims in secret courts with anonymous judges, secretly searched their homes, spied on them daily, held them in endless detention without charging them with crimes, exiled, executed, and, most notoriously, tortured them.
But of course, Torquemadas arent born every day. People willing to do these things to other people, whether in the name of God or in the name of National Security Americas new religion with such efficiency and the glib ability to rationalize their actions and still make eye-contact and witty chit-chat on television, are a rare breed.
Medieval Europe had no United Nations, but there was an Apostolic See, where Pope Sixtus IV noted that Isabellas Inquisitors without observing juridical prescriptions thats fancy talk for following laws and procedures, like the pre-Cheney constitutional protections you used to get in America when you were accused of crimes have detained many persons in violation of justice, punishing them by severe tortures and imputing to them, without foundation, the crime of heresy...that a great number of them have come to the Apostolic See, fleeing from such excessive rigor and protesting their orthodoxy.
Republicans who want at least a shot at the next presidency hope Cheney will take his fancy Italian hunting rifle and barrel off to that big, baited doves-and-quail-aplenty hunting field in Texas, New Mexico, or his native Wyoming.
But Cheney says he wont go, and itll be hard even for the most desperate presidential wanna-be to dislodge from office a man who packs big long heat and, after a couple of fizzy Dr. Peppers and one beer, mistakes his best friend and Republican benefactor Harry Whittington for a quivering quail and pumps him full of shot.
I mean, if Cheney thought Whittington was a bird, what will he think Sen. Bill Frist is?
Its unclear whether Cheneys departure would boost US President George W. Bushs approval ratings from the truly dismal, persistent March figures of 37 percent as Americas civil liberties disappear and the war in Iraq drags on with not just high casualties but evidence of sadistic murders something Cheney tried to obliquely pin on Zarqawi in his Face the Nation interview and killings of women and children that transcend simple military error.
Could another person do better?
Why not make way and see?
Certainly Frists mouth waters at the prospect.
And it would be a good test of the much-vaunted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rices untested mettle.
On Face the Nation, Cheney came close to understanding what he must do to save his party. Bob, you know what this reminds me of?
Cheney mused when asked about resigning.
It reminds me of 30 years ago when I was Gerry Fords chief of staff and you were the CBS correspondent covering the White House.
What happened to President Ford when Cheney was his White House chief of staff? He got his yesyesyes kicked by a hayseed governor from Georgia Jimmy Carter.
Torquemadas clients were king and queen. He didnt have to worry about elections. Some Grand Inquisitors have all the luck!
My first thought when I read the title!! LOL!
Sarah Whalen isn't fit to kiss Cheney's butt. And that's putting it VERY nicely compared to what I am thinking.
Thanks for the comments. Very nice.
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