Abu Ghraib Dog Sentenced to Live with ACLU Lawyer David Lane

Potfry | 3/23/06

[StoneGiant]

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Abu Ghraib Dog Sentenced to Live with ACLU Lawyer David Lane



With the sentence handed down yesterday that Sgt. Michael J. Smith of Fort Lauderdale must serve 179 days in prison, many wondered about the consequences for the snarling dog the solder used to help relieve constipated Iraqi prisoners.

That issue was cleared up last night in a private session of the court, when it was revealed the dog would be adopted by ACLU Lawyer David Lane, who currently represents semi-notable liberals Ward Churchill and Jay Bennish.

At the reading of the terms the dog whined and and defecated on the foot of the courtroom attendant restraining him. Observers say that it took several burly court officers and the promise of a wounded cat in the back room to calm the dog, who's name will be changed from "Chomper" to "Steve" as part of the deal.

Lane will reportedly recondition "Steve" in Clockwork Orange fashion, strapping the canine down and forcing him to watch film of lazy rabbits posed seductively in dog food bowls, interspersed with quick cuts of plump, tender Iraqi forearms and calfs.

[Darkwolf377]

...cough...

[davisfh]

Excellent post, but I would add something to "interspersed with quick cuts of plump, tender Iraqi forearms and calfs."

Lets make that read "interspersed with quick cuts of plump, tender Iraqi forearms, calfs and scrotal areas."

I predict that this will accelerate Chomper's (or Steve's) acclimation to civilized behaviour. You must remember, though, that Little Alex reverted to form after declaring "I'm cured." That meant to Little Alex that he was about to continue his previous behaviour.

BTW, I really like your reference to "Chomper" relieving the constipation of Iraqi prisoners. That would certainly relieve my constipation.