I kenw an alcoholic who felt the same way. He did not want to live, at least he gave the appearance of it. He got his wish, after he died at the age of 50 despite medical advise that if he did not quit, he would die. He had conquered a drug problem and felt that just having an alcohol problem was progress. According to my friend, toward the end he said to just dump him in the dumpster. So sad; he could have had a lot going for him due to the fact that he was smart, good looking, funny, had a good job, lots of friends.
These apartments used to be called "Institutions". They worked pretty well back in the 50's and 60's.
They had them for mentally ill people too.
Now they're apartments...
Back when, I was dating a girl who was interning as a social worker, working with the homeless in Chicago. (She was stunningly beautiful, dumb as a post, socially conscious, and was like a bunny in bed...) and so I got involved with and talked to a lot of street drunks. Almost without exception, they hated being drunk, were in a hurry to get drunk again, and one of them called it "Suicide on the American Plan." I don't think any of them enjoy life, and drinking themselves into a stupor is the next best thing to dying.