Posted on 03/20/2006 8:29:35 AM PST by dson7_ck1249
You know the old saying about having a hammer and everything looking like nails? I was reading an article in the Journal of Law and Economics about why housing prices in Manhattan are so high, and I thought, "Omigosh! The answer to the demographic implosion." Since my hammer happens to be sex and marriage, even an economics article reminds me of sex. So bear with me. I’ll explain what the article had to say about housing prices. Then I’ll tell you what it has to do with sex...
(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...
If I may make a reccomendation: Start spending more time with your female friend. Don't turn on the romance, just spend a lot of time with her.
But life is about stages that you go through and experience. And, without some level of maturity and preparedness your risk of hardship increases. Furthermore, the identity you have at 22 is not the one that you will have at 28 or at 34 for that matter. And, for what it's worth, answers that I thought I just knew at earlier stages of life were plain wrong. Pretty common in young men.
In your husband's case, success should be measured in terms of his own accomplishments. Completing boot camp certainly qualifies as a defining moment as does his acquiring rank and other responsibility. From those accomplishments he is better prepared to handle life.
Risk is an attribute of life. If you choose a riskless life, you may lose everything or perhaps have a really boring life.
Of course it is but risks have to be taken with some level of calculation otherwise the outcomes are in too much doubt and the costs are tremendous.
You are fully capalbe of raising a child and have been since about the age of 18. You have been told that you are a child and you may be treated like a child, but you are an adult.
I decided to go to war when I was 18. My father did also at the same. It was and adult decision, just like all those 18 and 19 year olds who have freed 52 million people and who have protected us in Afghanistan and Iraq.
The difference is that our identity is shaped by life's experiences that allows us the opportunity to acquire maturity, wisdom and humility. With those a person is better suited to address the process of life and make better choices as well as becoming people worth being around.
It's just that I don't see the reason to keep dating - at some point you're either going to get married or not. If you've been dating since 16 and you're out of college (say 22, 23, 24, whenever), it's time to make a decision in which direction your life is going. That decision generally includes marriage.
Those 18-19 year olds take their marching orders from people older and a lot more experienced than they are. Combat or even just military service in peace time makes you grow up faster but having seen my brother and his friends choices in women I would very much disagree with your assessment.
Are our brother and his friends married?
I mean your brother..
Your attempt to control the future is risible. Just live life as it presents itself. Or you lose, and it doesn't matter how many toys you have.:)
Children today are given a set options and told that all those options are equal when, in fact, they are not. They lack the ability to to make good decisions because no one has told them what is good and what is bad. A good remedy to this unfortunate state of affairs in membership in a conservative church. They will know the right thing to do, even if the situation is ummmm ...fuzzy.
From what I've read, I think you'll make a fine husband and father for some lucky girl.
I would add only this to what has been written. Make sure you pray a lot on it, and get your mom and dad's approval of whomever you choose to court. Remember, honor thy mother and father. And if anything goes wrong, you can always blame them :)
The boots on the ground are 18 and 19 year old adults. Which is as it should be.
James, you sound like you have a very well-developed sense of who you are and what kind of life you want to lead.
I'll agree with HitmanLV on one point: for some people, the whole 'wait until you're older' bit is good advice. HitmanLV seems quite confident that he's made the right choices in his life, so he's probably one of those people.
However, his path is by no means the universal route to happiness. TonyRo76 has given another perspective in post number 16 (an excellent one, IMO).
Keep praying and keep the faith, and don't let anyone else make your choices for you :)
Well...to each his own.
Have a nice night.
Yes you are exaclty right. If I felt, for example, that I found a good woman that I wanted to share my life with 6 years ago, for example, I would have asked her to marry me. Then it would be up to her. I wouldn't hesitate because of some sense of timing I set in my mind.
There is no roadmap, there is no exact formula, there is no set schedule. Keep options open and be smart.
You gave excellent advice.
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