Why I Don’t Take Feminists Seriously, Part VII

I had planned to put an end to this series with Part VI but, unfortunately, the feminists never take a day off from their antics. Of course, this keeps me in the business of documenting those antics in my column in a brazen attempt to capitalize (read: profit financially) off of feminist extremism.

Along those lines, I got a letter yesterday from a feminist saying that my publication of a six-part series on feminists proves conclusively that I do, in fact, take them seriously. That leads me to another point about feminists.

24. Feminists frequently confuse positive and inverse correlations.

This idea that the more one ridicules a group, the more one takes it seriously provides an example of the frequent inability of feminists to spot the direction a given relationship takes. Here are some other examples:

*The number of abortions a woman has is positively correlated with her personal happiness.

*The number of sex partners a woman has is positively correlated with her self-esteem.

Sexual freedom and reproductive choice are, in fact, related to happiness and self-esteem. But the feminists have the relationships backwards. That’s why the key to raising a happy daughter is to focus on two things: 1) have her watch everything feminists do, and 2) tell her to do the exact opposite.

25. Feminists are among the cruelest and most heartless members of our society.

One Grinnell College feminist wrote the following to me just two days ago:

“There is only one … thing that I want to say, and it’s concerning abortion rights. You said that the penis in the bucket (lovely imagery, by the way) is a man’s penis. But whose penis was it when it was inside the woman, was it a man’s penis then? Was the male baby on his own, supporting himself, giving himself life? No, he wasn’t, biologically, a baby is a parasite. As a learned person, you ought to know this: a baby, in his or her mother’s womb is a parasite. Thus, the woman has a right to do with it as she pleases, much as her finger or her leg; she is physically giving it life, and thus she has control over it.”

There you have it, readers. I see a baby yawning, rolling around, and rubbing its eyes in its mother’s womb and I see a miracle. I see an act of the Almighty God – the only One capable of giving life. The Grinnell feminist sees a parasite. This kind of heartless stupidity requires even less elaboration than the Grinnell College Masturbation workshop.

26. Feminists often see critical thinking (and logic overall) as a “male thing.”

The feminist I just quoted had this to say in her next paragraph:

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe in abortion. I think it’s cruel, and I would never have one, but I still believe that a woman has the right to do whatever she pleases with her body. And the baby, when it is inside of her, is her body. Whenever you develop a device that will keep the baby alive to term outside of his or her mother’s womb, go ahead and tell me, but until then, you’re not going to convince me that she shouldn’t have the right to stop giving it her lifeblood.”

When you read this feminist’s first paragraph – the one that twice referred to the baby as a “parasite” - did you get the feeling that having an abortion was much like using anti-bacterial soap or just taking a shower? When you read the second paragraph – the one that referred to the cruelty of abortion – did you get the idea that the feminist was aware of the “parasite’s” humanity?

There is seldom an occasion that a feminist remains logically consistent from one paragraph to the next. The only consistent characteristic of each paragraph is a very strong personal feeling – one that the feminist always describes in excruciating detail. “I feel that it is a parasite.” “The lifeblood belongs to me.” “The decision is mine.”

All the day long, three words dominate her thinking:

I, me, mine. I, me, mine. I, me, mine.

27. Feminists are gradually destroying the English language.

This one is simple. Almost all English professors are feminists. Because feminists believe that they can do whatever they want to do (whenever they want to do it), these feminist English teachers rarely actually teach English. The following note from a feminist (received yesterday) is illustrative of the consequence of teaching feminism when one is actually supposed to be teaching English:

“look [sic] little boy...let me 1st clear something up too [sic] you...the color of someones [sic] skin does not matter, there [sic] race does not matter, we're all having sexual intercourse, so it doesnt [sic] matter how many "black babies" get aborted each year...that has nothing to do with Ms. Margaret Sanger...they just need to learn sex aint [sic] all bout [sic] pleasure! it was their choice, and white people get abortions too. heck [sic] i [sic] praise dearest Margaret, because i [sic] would be a mom right now if it wasn't for her... I'M ON BIRTHCONTROL [sic] ...you're probably just mad because you can't have children...and how and why is that, do you ask?!...because [sic] you are not having sex, you can't get you none! and if you have had sex (which i [sic] highly doubt because you're so hypocritical) have you ever used a condom?!?! FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL!!! OFFERED TO EVERYONE...also to prevent STD's...no she did not invent the condom but she did inforce [sic] it...i [sic] have so much to say to you..but you disgust me so much i [sic] dont [sic] even want to waste any m!ore [sic] of my time. Eliza.”

I don’t know how Eliza managed to confirm so many of the points I made in this seven-part series in one, single sentence. But, of course, I’m glad she did. In fact, I hope she writes back. As it stands, I might not have enough material for Part VIII.

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