Posted on 03/05/2006 2:19:36 AM PST by Aussie Dasher
CELEBRITIES who have it all, fame, glamour and riches, will stagger to their limousines after tomorrow's Oscars under the weight of tens of thousands of dollars of free swag.
Whether they win or lose at the 78th annual Academy Awards the stars won't exactly be going home empty handed.
Each of the 120-odd nominees and the galaxy of Oscar presenters are rewarded for the time, nerves and red-carpet exposure to pesky paparazzi with a "swag bag" of luxurious loot that was last year worth more than $US100,000.
That figure dwarfs the entire production budgets of most of this year's best picture nominees, a string of small-budget or independent films that cost between $US6.5 million ("Crash") and $US14 million ("Brokeback Mountain").
"The real race lies in who can give celebs the best free stuff," the entertainment industry bible Daily Variety quipped of the one-week run-up to the 78th annual Academy Awards.
In their baskets of goodies this year, Hollywood's good and great will be treated to pampering ranging from vacations in Bora Bora, to sets of Tahitian pearls, to custom-made lingerie and even Botox injections and plastic surgery.
Other necessities that will be slipped into the groaning goodie bags are Swarovski crystal-encrusted Palm Treo smartphones, diamond rings, cameras monogrammed in diamonds, and custom-tailored Hugo Boss suits.
What started out as a thoughtful gesture by Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences bosses in 1988, has become a multi-million-dollar industry that has spread all the way across Hollywood's frenzied annual awards season.
While the Academy won't talk about what's inside the treasure troves of loot for the rich and famous or what it's worth, details of the sumptuous gifts makes leak out as gift donors frequently can't resist.
Among the other bundles of gifts coming their way are laser eye surgery, dog biscuits in the form of Oscar statuettes, anti-ageing cream and jewels that makers hope will pop up on stars the next time they sashay before the cameras.
Gifts, such as a voucher for $US20,000 worth of cosmetic surgery or the set of pearls that has been tailored to the look of South African best actress nominee Charlize Theron, will also be highly visible marketing tools.
Other goodies, such as a $US27,000 weekend in a five star hotel in the famed desert gambling hub of Las Vegas, will add glamour and prestige to the hotel when an Oscar-nominated turns up to stay.
And the giving will go on after the Oscars too, as stars showing up at music legend Elton John's AIDS foundation party a few miles away will reportedly get sparkling baubles from one of the party's sponsors, Swiss jeweller Chopard.
And one gift basket that will go to selected stars, a $US52,000 "Everyone Wins at the Oscars" hamper, will even make sure that the morning after the Oscars feels good too but adding a herbal hangover prevention potion.
"Many people tell us they cannot even enjoy a glass or two of champagne or other spirits without suffering the next day, and they thank us for our patented herbal extract because it really does prevent hangovers," the entertainment marketing firm Distinctive Assets boasted.
I'd love to see them get an empty bag except for a card in there that says, "A donation in your name has been made to the Human Fund."
(As George did on Seinfeld.)
Love it! Great work, and thanks for the laugh.
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