I've been with my 'partner' (no, not same sex) for 7 years. We are both divorced, have seperate properties, seperate checking accounts and also own property together and have joint checking accounts. We feel this works for us. We are individuals who share our life together. We have children from a previous marraige, and one together. The religious would tell me I am damaging my children, blah blah blah. It works for us and we have a strong relationship. One day we might get married, then again, maybe not.
Thank you for sharing that. I feel whatever is right for you as a couple (either getting married or not). Do it! You have only one life to live - make it as happy as possible of course trying not to hurt anyone in the process. I am sure your children feel the love from the both of you and that is all they really need - to be nurtured and cared for.
And that works for you.....
Many people do not realize the implications of modeling that environment for children. I am not trying to offend you I just get the sense that when they grow older neither will respect any values you hold deeply because of your lack of willingness to formally commit to being a "family" in which they feel they would want to belong. Children desire boundries, continuity and safety. In the back of childrens minds they know when they do not have it, and when they do.
I am curious, did you have a sense of continuity in your home growing up?