For anyone who didn't read the entirety of Gumbel's monologue, here it is: Please note the final sentence, it is very telling.
"Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who dont care about them and wont watch them. In fact, I figure that when Thomas Paine said that these are the times that try mens souls, he mustve been talking about the start of another Winter Olympics. Because theyre so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the worlds greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the winter games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that somethings not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in whats called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won. And try to blot out all logic when announcers and sportswriters pretend to care about the luge, the skeleton, the biathlon and all those other events they dont understand and totally ignore for all but three weeks every four years. Face it these Olympics are little more than a marketing plan to fill space and sell time during the dreary days of February. So if only to hasten the arrival of the day theyre done, when we can move on to March Madness for Gods sake, let the games begin."
bttt
I was going to do it anyway, but they didn't need to know that.