Heh heh!
Posted on 02/13/2006 8:50:39 AM PST by kiriath_jearim
Monday, February 13, 2006
Wife should talk with husband about fear of guns
By DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I recently moved to a new area of the country, in which it is very common for households to have a rifle or handgun for hunting or personal protection. I have never had any exposure to weapons at all and have always been very frightened of them. Yet around here, children are routinely taught to hunt, with a healthy respect for but no fear of guns. Anyway, my husband brought one home after I reluctantly agreed (we do have a problem with predatory wild animals at our new farm), but I find myself being very nervous about just having it. I would never want to use it. Is this strong a reaction normal? -- D.K.
DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family. It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.
That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.
"It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. "
Consider that this predator may be a pit bull chomping on her kid. Opps, no guns, maybe a broom will suffice. Good luck babe, better call a neighbor or cop (with a gun) to deal with it.
Certainly it's normal to begin with a fear of guns, but it's not common, normal, or logical to maintain that fear after that 15 minutes of instruction and experience. And that's what our beloved Dr. is suggesting, I believe. She should have stressed the gun safety and instruction instead of giving in to all the uninformed stereotypes like "guns are creepy and dangerous, you SHOULD be afraid!"
for Valentine's Day I got a gun for my wife.
It's a good trade.
Husband should take wife to NRA "Don't be a victim" lesson and NRA shooting lessons.
Only reason not to is that his wife will, probably, learn how to shoot better than he does... My wife did!
"Joyce, you ignorant slut."
Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in?
Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly.
This is hardly "talk to her husband and give shooting a try".
I see 98% of the responses pertaining to Joyce Brothers and the rest concerning the woman.
Agreed. So if she's still afraid of them after doing that... then it's not normal apprehension, and if she remains afraid (which most of us know is unlikely) then it's not a bad idea to offer her the advice that she doesn't HAVE to accept them. I don't force guns on people who are afraid of them, but that's just me. The woman should give it a fair shot, and that fair shot includes an 'out'. It's not "try this and you better like it or ELSE we're going to force it on you anyway... now don't be scared!"
If I saw all the ridicule being aimed only at the weak part of Dr. Joyce's response, while seeing better advice offered here on the thread, I'd have no problem with the tone of the thread. But many here mocked the woman for even worrying about it, when the more constructive response from all of us SHOULD HAVE BEEN to wish she was a friend of ours, so we could show her just how safe they can be. Instead, many have reacted with scorn and ridicule toward this woman for even expressing any fear.
But do you see 98% of the the responses as good PR for the image of gun ownership? Or do they feed the fear and bias you claim not to like?
Heh heh!
She ought to be white-knuckle terrified of the family car, then.
I'm sorry, but if I could get 98% of any group of people to do what I want I'd be rich.
Some folks have stronger reactions to certain hot button issues than others.
Dr Joyce Brothers claims to be an expert in many things. Obviously, in this area she's deficient, thus opening herself up to ridicule.
Agreed, and thanks for doing your part :~D
So helpful.
She shold ask a neighbor lady to teach her to shoot. She lives in a rural area and all of them shoot.
Single shot, 12 ga would be a good start.
Dear Joyce.
Which would be more traumatic.
Seeing a coyote shot in the back yard.
Seeing a coyote eat your toddler and you can't do anything but cry and watch...
Most of the mocking was directed at the very liberal psychologist, who actually claimed that a predator animal would be a victim.
Now, I don't know where you come from, but around here, the predators are not the victims.
It means that I have met personally with Jeff Sessions.
It also means I don't listen to people like you who want to tell others how they should, or should not rally for the 2nd.
My pleasure.
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