Posted on 02/13/2006 8:50:39 AM PST by kiriath_jearim
Monday, February 13, 2006
Wife should talk with husband about fear of guns
By DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I recently moved to a new area of the country, in which it is very common for households to have a rifle or handgun for hunting or personal protection. I have never had any exposure to weapons at all and have always been very frightened of them. Yet around here, children are routinely taught to hunt, with a healthy respect for but no fear of guns. Anyway, my husband brought one home after I reluctantly agreed (we do have a problem with predatory wild animals at our new farm), but I find myself being very nervous about just having it. I would never want to use it. Is this strong a reaction normal? -- D.K.
DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family. It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.
That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.
You're a good heart. And the type of person that is a great example for the rest of us to follow. When there is the potential to win over a nice lady who's apprehensive about guns, should we mock and ridicule her? or should we just show her how reasonable and safe gun owners can be?
Dr. Joyce Brothers should do something about the intense hoplophobia with which she is obviously afflicted.
"But both of my roommates, and everyone else I've ever taken shooting, was much more comfortable with them after a nice, organized, safe day of target shooting."
Ding! Ding! Ding!
All the rhetoric regarding firearms is essentially useless, and convinced nobody. Preaching to the choir or preaching to a group of people who hate firearms irrationally is a worthless activity.
Instead, doing what you describe is useful and helps the cause. I do the same, and have a 10m air rifle range in my basement for the first lessons. Everyone has fun with that, and it's often the first time people have ever touched a gun of any kind.
I've introduced dozens of people to shooting and to firearms safety in that range. Some have gone on to obtain their own firearms.
One gun-owner influencing others has far more effect than 1000 gun owners saying "Out of my cold, dead hands." Many 2nd Amendment advocates continually do their cause a disservice.
My answer to her: Knowledge is power. If our nephew found himself among a group of boys at a friend's home where some dumb kid was disobeying his dad and goofing around with a gun, WHICH KID do you think will be the first to say: "Put that thing down. Have you seen what one of those things can do to a watermelon or a can?"
It pretty well shut that SIL up.
Do you own sharp knives? Do you drive a car? Do you have large rocks in your yard? Baseball bat? Golf clubs? How about rope? Electrical cords? Do you and your husband have hands? Feet? Do you have a bathtub? Pillows?
Each one of these things is a commonly used instrument for one person to kill another. It is the danger in the attitude of the other person which should concern you. If that person is intent on killing, the tool won't matter much. If he is not, then handing him a loaded gun should cause you very little, if any, concern.
The woman is an idiot. In the world of crime there are prey and predators. It is not good to be the prey.
Then STFU and be glad he doesn't trade you in for a hunting dog.
Dr. Brothers recommended she talk to her husband about it and give shooting a try. The negative reaction on this thread is just bully name calling toward someone they perceive as weak.
That's funny.
My daughter feels somewhat the same way about her kitchen stove.
D.K. get a grip on reality. Inanimate objects are not, in of themselves, either safe or dangerous. Dr. Brothers imbues human emotion into a firearm; it's "creepy" to have one around. What would one say about referring to a "lonely" blender, an "angry" paperweight, or a "happy" pencil sharpener? Such a loon would be put on the next short bus to the Haldol Hotel. D.K., if you're this breathless over a hunk of iron, you probably should not be in possession of a firearm or any power tool.
I bake my pizza in the shape of a gun...is that wierd?
Oh my...how ever will blissninny soccermom get her brood back and forth from Chuck e. Cheese's without her eeeeevil SUV?
Hopolophobes suck.
I had to use my gun just last night. I'm a 44 year old female with a 19 month old toddler and a 14 year old son.
A drunk Mexican missed his turn, and ended up in the pasture next door to us. The suspicious thing was that he had to traverse the whole length of our driveway to get over in the pasture.
We heard a noise but didn't see anything. A few minutes later a tall skinny white guy in camo's and short shivering Mexican knowcked on my door wanting to borrow a chain.
I told them to hold on a minute, went and got the 38 and came back to the door, pulld the curtain back from the window so they could see the gun and asked them if I could call 911 for them and no I did not have a chain.
They backed off the porch real fast but did ask me to call 911.
A few minutes later the police came, I went outside and it really was a drunk Mexican who did miss a turn, throught the driveway was the turn and we he saw my husband's truck he had enough sense to avert into the pasture. Or course he couldn't get out of the pasture so he went knocking on doors looking for help.
The tall white guy with him was the first person who offered to help him pull it out (for $100.00) but white guy didn't have a chain.
Hence the knock on my door.
A gun doesn't provoke fear if you are on the right side of it and not afraid to use it.
It should provoke fear for those on the other side. :-)
~snip~
I've introduced dozens of people to shooting and to firearms safety in that range. Some have gone on to obtain their own firearms.
One gun-owner influencing others has far more effect than 1000 gun owners saying "Out of my cold, dead hands." Many 2nd Amendment advocates continually do their cause a disservice.
Thank you MineralMan. Pinging a few others who I think also need your advice.
You are absolutely incorrect.
We need to make our voice herad, and be loud and clear about the 2nd.
Whether we change the minds of the left out there is moot.
Our vocalness needs to continue so that our government hears us, and those we vote for.
ping to 57
Memo To Joyce Brothers:
Click the Pic
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
