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An Open Letter to Illegal Immigrants
TownHall.com ^ | 29 January, 2006 | Doug Giles

Posted on 01/29/2006 5:41:35 AM PST by Radigan

If I were a Mexican stuck in Mexico, I, too, would grab a jug of aqua, stuff fistfuls of tortillas into a bandana, then tie that knap sack onto the end of a long stick and start my slog north for the Promised Land.

What would be the rationale for my exodus from Santa Ana land? Well, one big reason is the zero opportunity in Mexico. Mexico’s economic future is about as bright as Leif Garrett’s singing career. I’m talking there is nada for the average José. Look, Vicente Fox can only hire out so many pool boys, chefs, drivers, maids, migrant map makers and mistresses. For the rest of the national workforce . . . well, you’re pretty much SOL: sure-outta-luck.

Eclipsing the economic disaster are two other reasons why, if I were a Mexican living in Mexico, I’d be putting the Sierra Madres in my rearview mirror and heading for Marfa: namely, Telemundo and Univision. Yes, if those were the only two channels I could watch on my black and white Philco after a 16-hour day of picking mangos in exchange for two chickens, I would walk through the desert for hundreds of miles, brave banditos, eat horny toads, drink mud, bake in the sun, swim the Rio Grande, scale the Big Bend mountains and wrestle pumas just to get away from that tacky entertainment and to get here to the States where I could enjoy Fox News and OLN. Therefore, as compassionate conservatives, we’ve got to cut these guys some slack. We, too, would want out of such a dysfunctional banana republic.\

Now, having said that, let me address mi amigos that want to move into our amazing Land-O-Plenty: Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English? Because, you see, our legal citizens are getting increasingly fed up with your criminal relocation dreams. That’s right. Our American buddies on the Arizona, California, New Mexico and Texas borders are especially sick of . . .

• Having their land trashed like a hotel room after Motley Crew spent the weekend there. [One Indian Reservation picks up trash to the tune of six tons a day. Would you please stop that? It’s rude, and it’s threatening the existence of a certain lizard and the Sonoran Pronghorn antelope. Thanks.]

• Having their ranches’ fencing routinely cut and vandalized. • Having to pick up your pill bottles, used needles and syringes. • Having to find the half eaten remains of their pets left from one of your impromptu BBQ’s. • Having their homes burglarized. • Having their daughters raped. • Having their vehicles stolen. • Having their property value plummet. • Having their sedate streets become unsafe requiring their children to be placed under lock and key after sunset. • Having to pick up and discard Muslim prayer rugs and literature strafed about the place. [BTW . . . when did so many Catholic Mexicans convert to Islam? I didn’t get that brief. Would you explain that to me?] • Having the arduous and unpleasant chore of scraping human feces off their front lawns in the morning.

Call us Americans fastidious, but we no likey the aforementioned; and the above is not causing us to take a shining to your desires to resettle here.

Let me help would-be Mexican immigrants understand exactly where we’re coming from. Our nation’s leniency regarding immigration has been used as a night stick to whup our own butt. Our nation’s compassionate openness, plus the corrupt incompetence of the former INS, plus our government’s greed for foreign capital equaled a rolled-out welcome mat for the 9/11 terrorists and other thieves and thugs who looked to use us while they attempted to destroy us. So excuse us, por favor, if we don’t seem too giddy about receiving new guests into our home; we’re still cleaning up after the last ones who tried to destroy the place.

Look, if you want to come here and visit, work or possibly live in the US of A, you must understand that it is a privilege. Be very clear on one fact: it is NOT a right. We don’t have to do anything.

In addition, we want people who dream the American dream [once again, in English], who crave what we crave and who will approach us respectfully, legally and . . . if you don’t mind terribly . . . pardon my redundancy, in English. And get this straight: our demand for a more stringent border has nothing—nothing!—to do with xenophobia. Rather, it is rooted in a love for our country. We like it here. We see it as a privilege and an honor to live here. And we want to make sure that when letting others join us in this privilege and honor, we are rewarding the credible who have waited, not the criminal who has manipulated. So, my advice is to immigrate correctly . . . do it right . . . and if you choose not to—don’t think it unkind if you get tossed on your head right back to where you came from.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: aliens; amnesty; comeherelegally; illegalaliens; immigrantlist; mexico
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This is great! Don't you love it when an article completely conveys exactly what you believe on an issue?
1 posted on 01/29/2006 5:41:36 AM PST by Radigan
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To: Radigan

I don't understand why South Korea rose from the ashes of the Korean Conflict to become an industrial and economic powerhouse...

While Mexico with all its oil wealth and resources remains a piece of dog????


2 posted on 01/29/2006 5:48:07 AM PST by montomike
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To: Radigan

If he wants 'em to read this open letter, I'm afraid it's going to have to be in Spanish...


3 posted on 01/29/2006 5:51:31 AM PST by stylin19a (God does not apply to your alloted time, the hours spent playing golf.)
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To: montomike
It's a very long swim from Pusan to San Francisco. Otherwise, they'd been here too.

Hey, looking around this neighborhood, THEY'RE HERE ANYWAY!

Every now and then there's an article in the local paper about how 50% of the Koreans around here are illegal aliens.

4 posted on 01/29/2006 5:55:22 AM PST by muawiyah (-)
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To: stylin19a

If he wants 'em to read this open letter, I'm afraid it's going to have to be in Spanish...

Besides that many illegals are also illiterate in their own language.


5 posted on 01/29/2006 6:14:41 AM PST by LoudRepublicangirl (loudrepublicangirl)
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To: LoudRepublicangirl

If you think it is bad now, wait and see what happens if the left wins the next elections in Mexico as now predicted. The flood of illegals will become a mass exodus.


6 posted on 01/29/2006 6:19:43 AM PST by ClaireSolt (.)
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To: Radigan
Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English? Because, you see, our legal citizens are getting increasingly fed up with your criminal relocation dreams.

AMEN!

7 posted on 01/29/2006 6:22:10 AM PST by kcvl
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To: Radigan
• Having their ranches’ fencing routinely cut and vandalized. • Having to pick up your pill bottles, used needles and syringes. • Having to find the half eaten remains of their pets left from one of your impromptu BBQ’s. • Having their homes burglarized. • Having their daughters raped. • Having their vehicles stolen. • Having their property value plummet. • Having their sedate streets become unsafe requiring their children to be placed under lock and key after sunset. • Having to pick up and discard Muslim prayer rugs and literature strafed about the place. [BTW . . . when did so many Catholic Mexicans convert to Islam? I didn’t get that brief. Would you explain that to me?] • Having the arduous and unpleasant chore of scraping human feces off their front lawns in the morning.

Clearly this man is a racist!!!!!

Do I have to put a sarcasm tag on this?

8 posted on 01/29/2006 6:23:13 AM PST by raybbr (ANWR is a barren, frozen wasteland - like the mind of a democrat!)
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To: ClaireSolt

I know. I predict things are going to get worse. A lot of them are flooding in because the stupid guest worker program was put out there for consideration. They are trying to get in here to take advantage of it in case it is voted in.


9 posted on 01/29/2006 6:24:03 AM PST by LoudRepublicangirl (loudrepublicangirl)
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To: gubamyster; HiJinx

ping


10 posted on 01/29/2006 6:24:36 AM PST by raybbr (ANWR is a barren, frozen wasteland - like the mind of a democrat!)
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To: Radigan
"Our nation’s leniency regarding immigration has been used as a night stick to whup our own butt. "
11 posted on 01/29/2006 6:27:29 AM PST by kcvl
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To: gubamyster

ping


12 posted on 01/29/2006 6:30:18 AM PST by DumpsterDiver
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To: Radigan
This is great! Don't you love it when an article completely conveys exactly what you believe on an issue?

This needs to be translated, printed and air dropped over our "potential guests" to the south.

13 posted on 01/29/2006 6:32:14 AM PST by afnamvet
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To: montomike
While Mexico with all its oil wealth and resources remains a piece of dog????

One word: Culture

14 posted on 01/29/2006 6:42:17 AM PST by raybbr (ANWR is a barren, frozen wasteland - like the mind of a democrat!)
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To: Radigan

It's "agua" not "aqua"


15 posted on 01/29/2006 6:42:22 AM PST by Doohickey (If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice...I will choose freewill.)
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To: muawiyah

Maybe the Koreans are here already, but (a) every last one of them is incredibly hard-working, (b) they're demanding next to nothing of our welfare and Medicaid programs, (c) they quickly buy houses and start paying property taxes, (d) there is almost no problem with crime or drugs in the Korean community, and (e) their kids assimilate in ten minutes and start doing very well in school, requiring no special programs. If you're going to have immigrants, they're the kind to have. We have a substantial Korean community near us and they're pretty much all married, Christian, and hard-working. You'll never see one of them being frisked by a cop at the side of the road.


16 posted on 01/29/2006 6:45:15 AM PST by Capriole (The Anti-Feminist)
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To: raybbr
One word: Culture

But since America is the richest country on earth, your logic would suggest that we have the best culture in the world.

You can be expecting a visit from the Multiculturalism PC Gestapo at any moment!

17 posted on 01/29/2006 6:58:41 AM PST by jackbenimble (Import the third world, become the third world)
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To: Radigan

Very well said!


18 posted on 01/29/2006 7:22:11 AM PST by mr_hammer (They have eyes, but do not see . . .)
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To: raybbr
One word: Culture

Two words : Free Markets. Indeed, people in North Korea are starving right now, even though they have exactly the same culture and they're the same ethnic group. Not to mention the fact that until the 80's Mexico was richer than South Korea.

Ireland, Spain,Portugal,Greece ,Singapore and Taiwan became rich countries in the last 30-10 years without having to change their cultures

19 posted on 01/29/2006 7:27:00 AM PST by waiver
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To: Radigan
Terrific piece. I like Doug Giles's straightforward yet cynical style. Reminds me of a certain FReeper.

Especially good: Look, if you want to come here and visit, work or possibly live in the US of A, you must understand that it is a privilege. Be very clear on one fact: it is NOT a right. We don’t have to do anything.

We didn't get to vote in the Mexican election. Why don't you mind your OWN country, Vicente?

20 posted on 01/29/2006 7:31:20 AM PST by arasina (So there.)
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