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Jesus favours rock on His iPod
The Register ^ | Tuesday January 17, 2006 | Lester Haines

Posted on 01/17/2006 5:31:52 PM PST by presidio9

Were Jesus to pack an iPod, then he would most likely be moshing to Christian Rock, claims a Beliefnet survey. That's according to 13 per cent of respondents to an online poll carried out by the "leading multi-faith spirituality media company and online community". A further 11 per cent reckoned the Son of God would be punishing his ears with Classic Rock - a figure matched by those who voted in favour of Songs of King David.

Perhaps surprisingly, Traditional Gospel scored just seven per cent while entirely unsurprisingly, Hip-Hop/Rap and Soul/Funk scored just three and four per cent, respectively.

And the other 55 per cent? Well, that's accounted for by the slightly spoilsportish "Jesus would never have an iPod!" contingent. Which, as we all know, is complete rubbish. In the same way that were Mozart alive today he would certainly be using samplers and synthesizers (no, really, of course he would, etc, etc), Jesus' Podcast on the iMount would indeed be an improvement on the traditional method of spreading the word.

For the record, today's survey on Beliefnet asks: "Would you use prayer to ward off bird flu?" Nope, we'd use Tamiflu to ward of bird flu, and prayer to ward off Christian Rock. So now you know. ®


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: christianmusic; ipod
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To: presidio9
Dumb, dumb, dumb! You know exactly what Jesus would listen too!


21 posted on 01/17/2006 7:17:29 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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To: appleharvey
Personally, I think of Jesus as being a Skynyrd fan.

"Freebird!"

It's a natural!

22 posted on 01/17/2006 7:18:20 PM PST by Petronski (I love Cyborg!)
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To: rzeznikj at stout
Thanks.

You might like my last one, too.

Islam is an STD (Satanically Transmitted Disease) that it is spread via unprotected intimate contact with the Koranus.

23 posted on 01/17/2006 7:37:06 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (Mad-Mo! Allah bin Satan commands ye: Bow to him 5 times/day: Head down, @ss-up, and fart at Heaven!)
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To: presidio9
I highly doubt Jesus would be narcissistic enough to want to listen to Christian music. I could see him listening to CCR or the Doors. I don't think the Eagles would be on his playlist since Don Henley is the Anti-Christ.
24 posted on 01/17/2006 7:52:20 PM PST by killjoy (Same Shirt, Different Day)
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To: The Worthless Miracle
I don't think even Jesus wouldlisten to Christian rock...

Not if he had any taste (although Bob Dylan's three "Born Again" albums are pretty darn good).

But I bet he'd like funky gospel with a heavy dose of Hammond B3 organ.

25 posted on 01/17/2006 7:58:02 PM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: Revolting cat!
Have you heard Barbara Streisand butcher Jingle Bells?
26 posted on 01/17/2006 7:58:23 PM PST by Paleo Conservative (Happy New Year!)
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To: Paleo Conservative

Don't scare me before I go to bed!


27 posted on 01/17/2006 8:00:14 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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To: presidio9
WWJHOHI? What would Jesus have on his Ipod?

My guesses:
-One of Us by Joan Osborne
-Stairway to Heaven by Dolly Parton

and he's waiting for the "Flying Nun" podcasts contract to signed with Apple and its syndication company.
28 posted on 01/17/2006 8:08:16 PM PST by jackieaxe (Tancreto '08)
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