Posted on 01/15/2006 2:53:08 PM PST by firehat
JUST ASKIN’: XXVlll ©
by Norman Liebmann
Just askin’: Is it time to lock up Teddy Kennedy and throw away the key, or is it a better idea to throw away Teddy Kennedy and lock up the key?
Just askin’: Do Vermont judges regard child molestation as entry-level sexual depravity?
Just askin’: Why is it the people who have the least reason to survive take the best care of themselves?
Just askin: Is Alan Combs a man or a membrane?
Just askin’: Is The Iron Triangle a clinical description for Hillary Clinton’s pubic region?
Just askin’: Is Trent Lott the living proof that failure has a down side?
Just askin’: As long as there are so many gays coming out of closets why not let the homeless move in?
Just askin’: Did Peter Jennings reach out from inside the picture tube, grab a remote, and turn himself off, or was there some Higher Power at work?
Just askin’: Will the elementary schools abandon the three R’s so they can have more time to teach the children to speak Swahili with Mexican accents?
Just askin’: When will David Letterman figure out that making idiotic faces is not a substitute for wit?
Just askin’: Does Bryant Gumbel like anybody? Does anybody like Bryant Gumbel?
Just askin’: What are the reasons why most of the prison inmates are members of minorities – besides the obvious ones?
Just askin’: Is this the year Al Qaeda will be invited to open a recruiting booth on the Harvard campus?
Just askin’: Isn’t it time to take the matter out of the hands of Civil Rights leaders and let the American people separate the victims from the vagrants?
Just askin’: Has tourism in France decreased since the Arabs made Paris smell like the Casbah?
Just askin’: Is Patty Murray Tokyo Rose in tennis shoes?
Just askin’: Is it just possible Tookie Williams will precede Martin Luther King into minority sainthood?
Just askin’: How about changing the lady’s name to Madeleine Allbunk?
Just askin’: Do pygmies ever run short of things? Or is running short what being a pygmy is all about?
Just askin’: Isn’t it time we started referring to Mullahs as mosque monkeys?
Just askin’: Should the degree to which Republicans are finally fighting back against Democrats be characterized as itsy-bitsy or teensy-weensy?
Just askin’: Why do prostitutes bother getting out of bed in the morning?
Just askin’: Will we all feel safer when Iraqi soldiers have been trained to hold the insurgents at bay by snapping at them with wet towels?
Just askin’: What would anyone who has ever lived in Detroit get out of visiting Africa?
Just askin’: When will America learn being too late is not an effective military tactic?
Just askin’: Will the Congressional Black Caucus demand that Ebonics replace Gibberish as the official language of confusion?
Just askin’: Isn’t it time for Hugh Hefner displayed his patriotism by having Playboy Magazine do a spread on the thirteen original nudist colonies?
Just askin’: Inasmuch as nearly everybody in Hollywood is inherently an exhibitionist why do they all need publicity agents?
Just askin’: A couple just celebrated their seventy fifth wedding anniversary. The man is orthodox mau mau and the woman is devout voo doo. Who says those mixed marriages never work out?
Just askin’: Now that Hillary is advocating the convicted felons’ right to vote, does it mean that in Chicago dead felons get to vote twice? And after they finish voting will Hillary see to it that they get bused back to the cemetery?
Just askin’: Will Harry Belafonte stick to his story that the Mayflower was a slave ship? And while the subject abides, which name suits him best?
[] Harry Belafunky? [] Harry Belaflooky? [] Harry Belafreaky? [] Harry Belaflaky? [] Harry Belafruity?
Just askin’: Who in Washington started the notion that you can turn Islam into a welfare state by giving them guns? Couldn’t we achieve the same result by bringing back the Soviet Union?
Just askin’: Why do we let political turncoats get away with calling themselves “Independents”?
Just askin’: Hasn’t Jesse Jackson proved there is such a thing as racial-equality overkill?
Just askin’: Isn’t it just a matter of time before promoter Bob Geldof stages a concert in Jurassic Park and changes the dinosaur’s name from Tyrannosaurus Rex to Tyrannosaurus Rocks?
Just askin’: Wouldn’t a more descriptive name for that state be Arkanswamp?
Just askin’: Will Hollywood luminaries assemble in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater to watch Paris Hilton have her tongue print put in cement?
Just askin’: How come American blacks who name their kids Jamal never figured out that it was the Arabs who ran the slave trade?
Just askin’: As long as political correctness is going to require us to keep creating euphemisms for minorities, why don’t they get an early start by referring to pickaninnies as “the P word”?
Just askin’: Why is it that what seems like naiveté in some nationalities is just plain political dimness in Canadians?
Just askin’: Is it possible that liberalism will sink to a level of failure below that to which it has already failed?
Just askin’: How can George Bush tell a good Moslem from a bad Moslem when even Moslems aren’t able to do it?
Just askin’: Should we send O.J. Simpson to Aruba to look for the Natalee Holloway’s real killers – or just let Greta Van Susteren keep mucking about in it until it all becomes totally hopeless?
Just askin’: Why don’t Democrats help instead of harp?
Just askin’: Whatever happened to the Ellen DeGeneres-Ann Heche lesbian idyll? Did Mr. Right finally come along and spoil it?
Just askin’: Are mosquitoes that have bitten Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer carriers of a world-wide yeast infection?
Just askin’: After Hillary Clinton goes to the White House how long will it take to disinfect the State of New York?
Just askin’: Is it an unfair advantage at boarding gates to allow nudists to be exempt from strip-searching?
Just askin’: Bill Clinton’s determination to remain in the political spotlight raises the question, is it possible to impeach an ex-President?
Just askin’: How come global warming never raises the temperature around Hillary Clinton’s heart?
Just askin’: Does Susan Estrich gargle with lava?
Just askin’: In these days of minority-ism are brown people trying to pass themselves off as black?
Just askin’: How come Don Imus looks like his face was left in the spin cycle too long?
Just askin’: How can the media characterize Bill Clinton as a genius while being so condescending to the assholes who voted for him?
Just askin’: Did the French build their Arch of Triumph just so that armies that conquer them can get in out of the rain?
Just askin’: In upcoming Western epics will the Indians conclude that cowboys turned gay as a result of being scalped below the belt?
Just askin’: Is it true Teddy Kennedy is trying to lure a young secretary into becoming his partner in synchronized swimming?
Just askin’: Are rapists people who need people even more than Barbra Streisand needs people?
Just askin’: Isn’t the surest way to overcome Inner City poverty by overcoming Jesse Jackson’s need to overcome Inner City poverty? And isn’t funding Jackson’s efforts to eliminate poverty approximate to hiring a hooker to discover a cure for penicillin?
Just askin’: When will the people of New Jersey clean up the state by getting rid of Senator Frank Lautenberg and replacing him with Tony Soprano?
Just askin’: Is Hillary Clinton personal mystique Nature’s way of discouraging orgasms?
Just askin’: If anyone can convince moths that they are gay will that coax them to come out of the closets?
and this …
Just askin’: Will an aging Bill Clinton eventually try to convince people he has reformed by representing his impotence is abstinence.
***
LTNS -
Nice one.
Heads up.
Great stuff as usual, Norm!
Just Asking: Is this guy never funny, or is it just me?
This Just In: It's you.
Firehat's the Norm. You're not.
Could be, but his "humor" always seems so stupid. The "iron triangle" joke in this one is fairly typical.
Bill Clinton’s determination to remain in the political spotlight raises the question, is it possible to impeach an ex-President?
Interesting read.....thnaks for sharing.
Couple of issues though:
1. The membrane's name is Alan Colmes
2. "hiring a hooker to discover a cure for penicillin" uh...penicillin is the CURE.
Just askin'. Is anybody else LTBO like me right now? I love this guy's humor!
My favorites:
Do Vermont judges regard child molestation as entry-level sexual depravity?
Will the elementary schools abandon the three R’s so they can have more time to teach the children to speak Swahili with Mexican accents?
Is this the year Al Qaeda will be invited to open a recruiting booth on the Harvard campus?
Should the degree to which Republicans are finally fighting back against Democrats be characterized as itsy-bitsy or teensy-weensy?
Is it possible that liberalism will sink to a level of failure below that to which it has already failed?
Why don’t Democrats help instead of harp?
Does Susan Estrich gargle with lava?
Did the French build their Arch of Triumph just so that armies that conquer them can get in out of the rain?
Is Hillary Clinton personal mystique Nature’s way of discouraging orgasms?
It's just you.
Heh, heh! Priceless stuff! May we hope for more, soon?
Heeeheeeee, funny stuff, thanks for sharing!
I am too, Theresa, it's not just you!
He's only funny 50% of the time.
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