Posted on 01/14/2006 9:46:28 AM PST by Lorianne
MINNEAPOLIS (Jan. 13) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler. He went by the nickname "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.
"I'm a satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.
Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."
"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.
The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.
Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."
This guy definitely needs to run as a democrat.
This is a sick joke, right?
that's ONE policy I would support...
"the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler..."
You'd think that since it's MN, he'd be a shoo-in, but since it's been done before, I don't know.
It doesn't mention his party affiliation. Sure sign of a Democrat.
Can she run while simultaneously serving as a Senator from NY?
Agreed!!
There's a lot at stake in this election!
previously was a political activist and GOP congressional candidate for office in New Jersey and elsewhere under his former semi-pro wrestling name of Rocky "Hurricane" Flash.
from:
http://coloradopols.com/archives/2005/12/at_least_hes_no_3.html
Not that different from most government officials who also suck...
That is exactly what I was going to post!
.......on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
No. Somebody this loony is a serious threat to bleed off about half of the Dimocratic base. The Republican can stroll into the Statehouse.
for the people of MN, it will mean sacrifices will have to be made
giggle
If you vote for this guy, how will you be able to look at yourself in the mirror?
his platform:
1) Improving education/school systems, including school bus transportation. ALL children will receive equal and high grade education throughout MN Public Schools. 1) Improving education/school systems, including school bus transportation. ALL children will receive equal and high grade education throughout MN Public Schools.
2) Farming - helping Minnesota farmers with state grants and tax-breaks, so they can keep their farms, and make a significant profit.
3) Start an Anti-Drug task force to go after drug dealers, especially in and around schools.
4) Better benefits for all Minnesota Veterans, especially those who were injured in the Gulf Wars, Vietnam, any and all combat operations, along with those who were injured during military service.
5) I will not allow the activation of any Minnesota National Guard Units to fight in Iraq. I will lobby to bring our Guard troops back from Iraq ASAP! I will defy President Bush if need be.
6) Any one found committing an act of terrorism in Minnesota will be IMPALED by me at the State Capital. If the US DOJ wants to prosecute me for it, then I will take my chances in Court, for I do not believe an American Jury will convict me of brutally killing a terrorist!
7) Blacklist - I will blacklist all companies that have left the US and relocated to another country. No company will prosper as a result of causing Americans financial hardship from losing their jobs, as a result of that company relocating to another country.
8) DWI/DUI - Those who are found guilty of DWI/DUI of drugs and/or alcohol in Minnesota will serve time in jail for their criminal and dangerous actions. A minimum of 3-months without a stay of judgement.
9) All religious beliefs will be protected under my administration. I will erect the "Wall of Religious Beliefs" in the Capital. This wall will have everything from the Wiccan Rede to the 10 Commandments.
10) Judicial Reform is a major personal concern of mine. I will enact a law that holds judges and prosecutors liable for wrongly incarcerating innocent people. In addition, I will have people who file false complaints against another person imprisoned for their illegal actions.
11) Boot Camp for juvenile offenders. If parents are unable to cope with an out of control child, who is repeatedly breaking laws and/or are failing to attend school regularly, the child will be placed in a "Boot Camp" program ran by reserve or former military drill sergeants.
12) Casinos - I will issue 13 land base/Non-Indian owned casinos licenses in Minnesota. These licenses will be issued to the highest bidders. The highest bidder will receive the best site. The money from these bids will go to fund all aspects of education, farming and veterans programs. The tax revenue will be used to help lower taxes throughout the state.
13) MEDICAL CARE AT A FAIR PRICE. Minnesotans work too hard, to have to worry about the rising cost of medical insurance and prescriptions. Everyone should be able to enjoy their free time to the fullest. I will introduce an “Universal Medical/prescription Payment Plan,” for those Minnesotans who do not receive medical insurance from their employer. This plan will allow everyone to pay a set rate for medical/presription insurance, in accordance to what they make, not what the insurance companies say they have to pay. Hence, allowing all Minnesotans to receive the same type to medical treatment as The President, without paying outrageous premiums and/or co-payments. Those who are unemployed, indigent, disabled or unable to work will receive emergency medical care and prescriptions regardless.
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