Posted on 01/05/2006 10:32:44 PM PST by Mama_Bear
"Wear Red Friday"!!!!!!!!
My husband gave me the MOST gorgeous red sweater for Christmas and I am planning on wearing it tomorrow :)
I know I haven't been around.......lots of stuff - but everyone knows those deals.
Miss you all........
You come back whenever you can - it's always nice when Gabz visits. :-)
And you look maaaavelous in red, dahling!
{{{{{{{{{{{Mam Bear}}}}}}}}}
PUNS, A BUNCH
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you,"says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12 A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, "Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because" he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan.." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his shipmates,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
Thanks for the giggles, Dolly. Those are punny. Most I hadn't heard before.
| January 6, 2006
Mom's Translation
Read:
|
Four pastors were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible. One liked a particular version best because of its simple, beautiful English. Another preferred a more scholarly edition because it was closer to the original Hebrew and Greek. Still another liked a contemporary version because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
The fourth minister was silent for a moment, then said, "I like my mother's translation best." Surprised, the other three men said they didn't know his mother had translated the Bible. "Yes," he replied. "She translated it into life, and it was the most convincing translation I ever saw."
Instead of discussing translation preferences, this pastor reminded them that the most important focus should be learning God's Word and doing it. That was the top priority of Ezra's life. As a scribe, he studied the Law, obeyed it, and taught it to the Israelites (Ezra 7:10). For example, God commanded His people not to intermarry with neighboring nations who served pagan gods (9:1-2). Ezra confessed the nation's sin to God (9:10-12) and corrected the people, who then repented (10:10-12).
Let's follow Ezra's example by seeking the Word of God and translating it into life. —Anne Cetas
The best commentary on the Bible is a person who puts it into practice.
|
Wolfie sampled the pineaple pie dutchess tried as her very first pie effort, and unfortunately is now "indisposed."
While she slavishly followed the recipe Mama_Bear gave her, her eyeglasses were not quite clean and she transposed the part of the recipe that called for "Preheat oven to 425 degrees F." and set hers at 245 degrees..:(
LUV W is absent because she has been commissioned to assist The President in selecting a jewelry gift for his mother,
Barbara 
, for her birthday in June.
[of course wearing red for the troops today!]
lonestar is busy coordinating things between Weinie and Gert the Gorilla 
on a brilliant new project!
With the thought it is never too early to plan a political campaign, these two are using their collaborative skills from the time when Weinie was running for Governor of California.
They want to assist Rus - The Mayor - to get elected to a worthy position and eventually Save New York!!
[Hang on Colleen and citizensgratitude - help will come!]
Dubya is busy masterminding events for Marines at the request of (USMC) General Peter Pace, Chairman of The Joint Cheifs of Staff.
Dubya is assembling a contingent of Korean Veteran Marines to visit wounded troops from the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns to express our appreciation for the unbroken chain of dedicated military men and women - the proud long line is intact!
...or we're all just purely and simply LAZY!!!! Good to see you Lady. I have all my resources together to get that gift purchase for the former first lady! LOL!
HUGS!
Since it is "Wear Red FRiday", I will wear one of the snazzy outfits that Santa brought me.
You think it is a little much for a trip to WalMart? LOL
Have a great weekend, you two!
Catching our breath now and savoring all the Good Things in our lives, methinks...always most certainly for our Finest Friends..:))
Special Hugs and appreciation for you, Miss Kitty, and for LUV W...and for our one-of-a-kind Mama_Bear.
Lookit you! Woohoo....naw. Walmart needs a shakin' up and you look snazzy with your bling and red! LOL!
Prayers as always for our troops...they are the bravest and most wonderful men and women in the world. They sacrifice everything for our safety!
Thank you for always being here. I need to go get ready for lunch now. Hubby will be home soon and wonder why I am STILL in my jammies! LOL!
Blessed Epiphany to you.
Or, as some call this day, Little Christmas.
(That "gif - gift" showed up under my Christmas tree, from our very own "SantaWolfie". Bling is always a perfect fit!) ;-)
Wolfie does good work! He fixed you up to be beeeuuutiful!
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