Posted on 01/03/2006 5:28:47 PM PST by MoJo2001
Oh Dear...
Sounds like you got a bad batch alright..
You okay now?
Ms.B
Yup....I think you lost your inner dialouge! lol
Oh, much better, but I'm a little gun-shy on experimenting in the Fobbit Hole tonight...
Sticking to Ramen with butter and cheese...
I hate it when that happens! LOL
Is Todd feeling down cause it's his birthday? He's another year older? Hmmmmm? I've got just the thing to lift his spirits
Hi Sweetie.....naw he's not feeling down. I got him some socks & a box of rocks.:) Course that sugar outta just make his day!!!!
A farmer in Iowa got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer feel uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket.. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problem with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."
The trooper says, "Well that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though!"
Happy Birthday to Sailor, MoJo!!
Hi LJ
Hi LJ
Subject: Dead duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a pair of Labrador Retrievers. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dogs stood on their hind legs, put their front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. They then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook their heads.
The vet patted the dogs, took them out of the room and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Reports and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."
** I got him some socks & a box of rocks**
That made me laugh. One year for Christmas I opened a bag of marbles from my husband. I looked at him with a very confused expression and his reply was, "Well you are always saying you lost your marbles so I got you a refill."
LOL
You're on a roll! :o)
Hello, Ms. Beachie! So happy to "see" you! Hugs and ....
Hi Tom.
Oh, what a cute bear. And, I got hugs and kisses too! Now I feel better.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
