Wait.. Walruses have legs?
Posted on 01/02/2006 1:51:12 PM PST by presidio9
A South African mugger fleeing the scene of his crime hides in a tiger enclosure.
On the country's coast, a woman attempts to be a good Samaritan by pushing a young seal into the sea, believing the poor thing is stranded.
Both people paid heavily for their stupidity, underscoring one of nature's truisms: humans do dumb things around wild animals.
"I blame it on Walt Disney, where animals are given human qualities. People don't understand that a wild animal is not something that is nice to pat. It can seriously harm you," said James Cameron, a South African professional hunter.
The cartoon image of wildlife may have prompted a 49-year-old South African woman in October to try to help a seal which she believed was stranded, allowing her 1-year-old grandchild to stroke the creature in the process.
The seal responded by biting off the woman's nose.
Cape Fur Seals are common on South African shores and many have become accustomed to humans.
They are a popular tourist attraction and can be viewed playing in the sea by Cape Town's waterfront -- which may also give a false impression of placid friendliness.
"Cute" seal pups have also been used as potent symbols by groups such as the International Fund for Animal Welfare, further enhancing the animal's "cuddly status".
But they can in fact be dangerous and sometimes attack people who venture too close -- as South Africa's noseless do-gooder discovered to her horror.
TIGER TROUBLE
Then there was the South African robber who made the mistake last month of taking refuge in an enclosure which turned out to be home to a pair of unimpressed tigers.
He had fled into a nearby zoo after security guards heard the screams of a couple he had just mugged in Bloemfontein, about 400 km (250 miles) south-west of Johannesburg.
Unsurprisingly, he was mauled to death by the big cats.
The mugger was not the first South African criminal to err in hiding among zoo animals.
Max, a 200 kg (440 lb.) gorilla, won fame in 1997 after being wounded by a terrified gunman who jumped a moat into his space in Johannesburg's zoo while fleeing police.
Max pinned the fugitive against the wall of his enclosure and guarded him even after being shot until police arrived, making him an instant folk hero in crime-ridden South Africa.
Other people don't realise that you shouldn't get between a mother and her offspring -- especially when dealing with the world's largest land mammal.
In April of this year, an elephant gored a tourist to death in a Ugandan national park after the man, carrying an 8-year-old boy in his arms, approached the animal's calf.
"I think many people are just far removed from nature. People who live in cities often see nature as something that is tame and manageable," said Sue Lieberman, director of the global species programme for conservation group WWF International.
"And wrongly so. We don't need to tame nature, we need to keep the wild out there," she told Reuters.
SHOW-OFFS
Then there are the show-offs.
Lions mauled a South African teenager in March who came too close to their enclosure while trying to impress his girlfriend.
The sixteen-year-old, his girlfriend and his mother were having lunch with the lion keeper when he ignored advice and went off with his girlfriend to see the lions in the breeding section of the park just north of Johannesburg.
The boy went into an area off-limits to the public and touched a lion through the mesh fence.
The lion quickly sank its teeth into his arm and dragged him under the fence before the curator came, drove the four adult lions in the enclosure away and rescued the teenager.
"It just shows a total disregard and disrespect for wild animals," said Cameron.
The boy was luckier than a couple from Taiwan in 1993, who got out of their car to photograph lions up close at a South African game park -- and who were quickly savaged to death by the beasts.
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If you read the story paisan, the guy in the picture was not the only shooter. Some of the others were not available for comment as they are now colleagues of Tim's in the fertilizer business.
Except that it was the wrong continent, that hapless wanna be rescue person might have attempted to roll a friend's girlfriend into the water.
That female was mean enough to have laughed as she ate the severed nose. Must be something about being a two legged walrus, dumb, and just plain mean.
He finally broke up over the beach problem with her. ;-)
Wait.. Walruses have legs?
Dog sweaters, and the pet food that Dick Van Patten hypes as "so good, I eat it myself" as he chows down on the commercial...lotsa examples out there.
That sounds like something from a South Park episode!
The topper, though, was his playing of the 911 call where the motel guest felt "the urge" late at night, and paramedics had to be called to extricate his wee-wee from the swimming pool recirculating pump...
A few years ago, my dad and I drove through Land Between The Lakes and stopped at the buffalo enclosure to take some pictures. There were a couple of dingbat ladies there who were teasing a huge bull through the fence, which is there mostly to keep people from mingling with the buffalo. Fortunately for them, the bull just turned around and walked away, because that fence wouldn't have even slowed him down.
Good lord! The hiker was carrying a .38? Bad move. That's the biggest bear I've ever seen.
I've been busy sending off your "Bear Whisperer" collage! LOL
After posting that picture it occured to me: Can the doggie condom be far behind?
Darwin Award winners, each and every one.
"The comment about Disney movies is spot-on."
They turned libs against deer hunters, especially doe hunts, with their dqamn bambi movie.
Bambi is camp meat!
Goomba... Com e'ste? I read "12" 7 mikemike and "4" .38s. What did I miss? One of the others was carrying a 7Mag? Admittedly, I'm a product of NJ Public Schooling but on a very good day I can add. To 21, if my zipper is open =O)
LOL!
Sssshhhh! Other people can read this.
Yes. Had that bull took the notion, those ladies would have been converted into the tourist version of strawberry jam.
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