Posted on 12/27/2005 9:49:00 PM PST by A. Pole
Buenos Aires, Argentina (CNSNews.com) - Environmentalists from different climate change camps exchanged harsh words and blows during the closing ceremonies of the United Nations Climate Change Conference Friday, with global warming proponents clashing with global cooling activists.
Buenos Aires police took 11 people into custody following the dispute, which apparently erupted over a mix-up in talking points about the risks of global warming and global cooling. Authorities said no one was seriously injured in the fracas.
Officials said it appears the disruption began when a draft statement on the dire effects of global warming were traced to earlier warnings on global cooling.
"There are ominous signs that the Earth's weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production - with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth. The drop in food output could begin quite soon, perhaps only 10 years from now," read a key passage from the Closing Declaration on the Planet's Future from the group International Action Against Global Warming.
But the IAAGW global warming statement was actually taken verbatim from a 1975 Newsweek account on the risks of global cooling, drawing ire from members of No Ice Age, a group concerned about data it says shows a drastic cooling of the Earth.
"Who knew?" said IAAGW spokeswoman Mbogo Btu. "You see 'drastic decline,' and 'ominous signs' in a set of talking points, you figure 'hey, global warming,' right?" said Btu. "I'm pretty sure this was an intern screw up."
At nearly the same time, activists fighting global cooling had committed a similar mistake, inadvertently including an erroneous statement in an end-of-conference document prepared by the Coalition Against Global Cooling.
Citing independent research in the Manifesto To Stave Off The Next Ice Age, the CAGC wrote, "The report comes out at a time of increasing pressure on the Bush administration to enact U.S. emissions reductions," without realizing the words came from a National Resources Defense Council release condemning global warming.
"Everybody knows it's emissions from capitalist industrial mega-centers that are causing global cooling," said CAGC Chief Counsel Myrna Iglou. "We've been attacking American emissions since the 1970s, so how were we to know our argument had been co-opted?"
As representatives from the two groups confronted each other over the apparent misuse of each other's materials, police said the conflict escalated when a third organization, The Thermostat Society, proffered that global warming could lead to global cooling.
According to Thermostat Society Policy Director Thor Bromo, "You heat up the planet, the ice cap melts. The ice cap melts, the seas get colder. The seas get colder and everybody goes the way of Fred and Barney," said Bromo.
Still others were convinced that global cooling would result in global warming. "With colder temperatures, particularly across the northern hemisphere, the only logical conclusion is more greenhouse gasses resulting from efforts to keep warm. That's enough to heat the planet," said Dr. Doug Howitzer, a climatologist from Flushing, Queens. "It's human nature."
The Buenos Aires donnybrook underscored the need for increased liberal unity regarding climate change according to Bob Trotski, leader of the Socialist Internationale delegation to the conference.
"There's no possible way we can bring down America if we don't start singing off the same piece of sheet music," said Trotski. "Global warming, global cooling, whatever. Just flip a coin and move on."
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Bump!
Kind of like the Monty Python movie "Life of Brian", when the "People's Front of Judea" fight it out with the "Judean People's Front".
Supprise!!! /not
What ever "science" they can throw at their pet political adgenda, regardless of the source or the veracity, they use with recless abandon.
Um, this is a satire piece.
It took me a minute, since we know these Moonbats are certainly capable of such lunacy.
But they haven't done it quite yet.
There is probably more truth to this than fiction...
Robert Frost
Sure they have. See moonbat pic (Dec3/05) above. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. I believe the weather that day was a record cold spell, but there they were, all bundled up freezing their butts off protesting "global warming".
Spoil Sport!!
Ruined my whole nite. ;-)
Sorry -- I had some great choice remarks all loaded up into the cannon myself :)
I have my FReeper version of the Carpenter's rule: Read twice, then post (and I still misread or, worse, post then reread and feel like a dang idjit).
Needs for a comedy.
A satire piece? Damn, I was hoping the long-awaited battle of Heat Miser vs. Snow Miser was on!
ROTFL at "The Thermostat Society"
Anyway, I bet something very similar to this does happen in the near future.
Ban dry ice, outlaw crime, and everything will be OK.
Mbogo Btu.
A guy named Btu talking about global warming.
Go figure.
This is a joke, right?
How do you parody something like this?
I suggest giving loaded guns to both sides and let them settle it. Then throw the winners into prison.
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