Posted on 12/24/2005 6:45:16 AM PST by Rebelbase
Santa Claus Shot Down by SA-15 Missile over Northern Iran
Santa sled fireball
TEHRAN (Dec 24)-The Iranian News Agency is claiming that the Doshan Tapeh Air Base commander has reported one of it's newly aquired Russian SA-15 anti-aircraft missile defense batteries engaged and shot down the Santa Claus reindeer propelled flying sled over Northern Iran today. The target was tracked on radar for 10 minutes before the order to fire was given by the regional air defense commander
Witnesses report seeing the SA-15 streak skyward erupting in a brilliant flash and then a giant fireball plummeting to the earth. The fireball was captured on film.
The smoldering wreckage was discovered in the mountainous region of Mazandaran Province, just south of the Caspian Sea.
The crash site had been looted by local village children leaving only scraps of colorful paper wraps and ribbon amid a large impact crater.
There were no signs of a survivor. Villagers reported a large pack of wolves carried off the reindeer remains.
A NORAD command spokesperson at Peterson Air Force Base answered "no comment" when asked if Santa had yet to appear on US radar. An unnamed senior radar specialist commented, "In all the years I've been doing this I've never seen Santa fail to show up on radar. I fear something dreadful has happened".
Doshan Tapeh Air Base Commander, Rashaii Albukaala discusses the missile incident on Memri TV.
The rumour is that they are going in. No orders, just gear up and go. Like the 442nd RCT was said to have done when they got the word FDR died.
We all know it was just a spark in the belly of the center reindeer - no missle here!
This conversation was just intercepted by NSA's massive global eavesdropping and domestic surviellance network.....
Santa: Where are you taking me?? You are all being very naughty.
Iranian General: Why you come to Iran, my main man?
Santa: To bring happiness and joy to the children.
Iranian General: And this is...? This is what you think brings happy? This is material... This is commercialism! My country is sick. Sick!
Santa: No, your country has just lost all its Christmas spirit. What's going on here?!
Iranian General: America wants to bomb my house, my main man. They want to kill my wife and children. We need to know... what is their plan?
Santa: I don't know, I live in the North Pole. What are you doing??
Iranian General: They say that the Chinese were the first to experiment with a little shock to the testicles.
Santa: Oh no. Not Santa's balls!
Iranian General: What else is America planning?!
Santa: I'm gonna fu***** kill you!
Iranian General: You're not in a position to kill anyone, my main man! I just want you to tell me America's plan!
Santa: Then we're in for a long night, 'cause I don't know sh**!
"The NY Times leaked the coordinates."
LOL. Now that's funny.
"The Bastards!"
SOUTH PARK PING!
For those who don't know how you got on this ping list: the initial ping list was created by copying member names from past South Park threads.
Please ping me with any South Park related articles. Thank you!
If you want on or off this ping list, please FReepmail me.
This is expected to be a low to medium volume ping list.
South Park TV schedule at Comedy Central
South Park syndication schedule - these are older episodes that have been released to broadcast TV and are therefore heavily edited.
South Park sites at South Park Studios and Comedy Central
Search for previous South Park articles at Free Republic by title or keyword.
Create a South Park character of yourself at Planearium.de or SouthParkStudios.com.
South Park products available at Amazon and Comedy Central.
Download South Park episodes in bit torrent format at MrTwig or South Park Complete.
Read scripts of South Park episodes at South Park Stuff.
The South Park Scriptorium, a good all around site for South Park information.
The Wikipedia article on South Park.
Santa was a spy for Bush anyway... :)
Maybe not! Time to bring back St. Nicholas!
Who gave us this old red fatso anyway?
"I think we all need to calm down and reflect upon all those things Santa did to make them so very angry with him."
You nailed it. That would have been {insert any lefty talking head's name here} position. It must be the relationship that santa had with the US chilrun. Ergo, IT'S BUSH'S FAULT.
Wouldn't it be a pip if Iran put out a story denoucing this because they thought it wasn't satire?
LOL! That would be too funny!
"I'm packing!"
"Santa Claus Shot Down by SA-15 Missile over Northern Iran"
TELL THAT TO THE MARINES!
(great caption to a WWI recruitment poster)
http://www.usmcstore.com/images/Posters/tell%20it%20to%20the%20Marines.gif
Friggin camelhumpers!! They did it beacause Mrs. Claus refused to wear a Burqa!!
Well, what did you expect?!!!
LOOSE LIPS SINK SLEDS!
These government morons were giving away his location at all times.
Shot down Santa? (hubby will be shocked to hear that.)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.