Posted on 12/23/2005 10:07:40 AM PST by TexasGreg
Grinchy remark sends kids home in tears By RORY SCHULER Staff Writer Lebanon Daily News
LICKDALE Jamey Schaeffer stretched her mouth open wide, showing off a pair of twin gaps in her smile. With a mouthful of fingers, she said she has no interest in two front teeth for Christmas. Instead, shed like a Barbie doll from Santa Claus and Santa Claus only.
But a substitute music teacher almost came between the 6-year-old and a Christmas Eve spent dancing cheek to cheek with sugar plums.
Theresa Farrisi stood in for Schaeffers regular music teacher one day last week. One of her assignments was to read Clement C. Moores famous poem, A Visit from Saint Nicholas to a first-grade class at Lickdale Elementary School.
The poem has great literary value, but it goes against my conscience to teach something which I know to be false to children, who are impressionable, said Farrisi, 43, of Myerstown. Its a story. I taught it as a story. Theres no real person called Santa Claus living at the North Pole.
Farrisi doesnt believe in Santa Claus, and she doesnt think anyone else should, either. She made her feelings clear to the classroom full of 6- and 7-year-olds, some of whom went home crying.
Schaeffer got off the school bus later that day, dragging her backpack in the mud, tears in her angry little eyes.
She yelled at me, Why did you lie? recalled Jameys mother, Elizabeth. Why didnt you tell me Santa Claus died?
Elizabeth Schaeffer said she was appalled by Farrisis bluntness.
I had to call the school, said Schaeffer, a part-time custodial employee for the school district who is on temporary leave after complications from her last childs birth. I had to do something.
Meanwhile, Farrisi, who is well versed on the history of Santa Claus the traditional and literary figure clarified her comments.
I did not tell the students Santa Claus was dead, she explained. I said there was a man named Nickolas of Myrna who died in 343 A.D., upon whom the Santa Claus myth (is based).
On Monday night, Jamey started to recite Moores famous poem while sitting on a couch next to a freshly cut tree, trimmed in tinsel and topped with a golden star: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house. No creatures stirred.
She paused, looked up, and said thats when the teacher interjected, just a few lines before the verse that announces the arrival of a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
The teacher stopped reading and told us no one comes down the chimney, Jamey said, curling into a ball on the couch, bracing her chin on her knees, her voice shrinking away like melting ice cream. She said our parents buy the presents, not Santa.
Sharing in the belief of Santa Claus is a very special event in the Schaeffer home. Jameys the second youngest of five children. The three oldest have already grown up and left the family nest. Only Jamey and her 18-month-old sister, Amanda, remain.
Last year, Elizabeth Schaeffer recalled, Santa left a trail of boot prints in charred ashes from his feet-first landing in the fireplace. And this year, the family will continue their tradition of leaving him a plate of cookies, a tall glass of milk and a ripe, shaved carrot for Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
The Schaeffer family wasnt the only one taken aback by Farrisis approach to Santa.
Tim and Beth Rittle said they found their 7-year-old daughter, Holly, in tears in the back seat of their car after they picked her up from school that day.
All of a sudden, Holly just started crying, Beth Rittle said. She said she had a substitute in music class, and she told the class theres no such thing as Santa Claus.
Schaeffer and Rittle both called Northern Lebanon School District Superintendent Don L. Bell.
Since the issue involves personnel, Bell said Monday, there is little he can say about the incident, adding that it has not been determined if any disciplinary action is warranted against Farrisi.
Bell said he was aware that several parents have expressed concerns about the incident.
He also noted that the handling of Santa Claus isnt covered in the school code.
We do not have a Santa Claus policy, he said. Its unfortunate, but I really cant say anything about it.
Farrisi said she considered approaching the schools administration with her concerns about how to handle Santa Claus in class. Instead, she said, she decided to add a disclaimer to her lesson.
Those same children are going to know someday that what their parents taught them is false, she ex-plained. There is no Santa Claus.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth Schaeffer was carefully thinking about her next step. She decided to make a photocopy of editor Francis P. Churchs famous response to a little girl, who wrote to The New York Sun many decades ago, asking the same question Schaeffers daughter struggled with last week.
I mailed (Farrisi) a copy of Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, she said, giggling with satisfaction. I wish I could be there when she opens it.
As for Jamey, in an attempt to reaffirm her spot on Santas nice list, she drew up a new letter in bright red magic marker, a message destined for the Santa she refuses to abandon.
Dear Santa ... How is the North Pole? she said, reading her letter loudly and proudly. How is Mrs. Claus? You are Great. From Jamey.
And parents who do this are loving and helping their children discover the joy of giving.
Foobar to all the nay-sayers. Santa lives!!!!
This is not much different from what we say to our kids. Yes, there is a Santa Claus. He may not be the traditional idea of a fat guy in a red suit, but there is a spirit of giving that Christmas is about. Santa Claus is a personification of the Christmas (and Christian) spirit of giving.
FGS, lighten up; they are not BETRAYED: and if you SCAR them for life, you've made too big a deal out of it.
Why is it that none of OUR children feel betrayed? Huh? Are we heathens?
If you need to tell yourself that to make yourself feel rightous, go right ahead.
But the fact is that Santa Claus and Christmas in IN YOUR HEART and if you BELIEVE, you will eventually learn one of the most joyous lessons of life: sharing with others, the real lesson Jesus Christ taught most of us.
And speaking of "being on these threads again, here you are, showing your have an abject NEED to make all the rest of us liars, coming on these threads with your sanctimonious rightousness, acting as if there is something wrong with those of us who participate in the LEGEND of St. Nicholas.
You just don't seem to like it when people point out your own hypocricy.
BTW, I still haven't gotten an answer to my question on one of the other threads: when your child asks you where he came from, do you drag out the picture books and tell him the WHOLE TRUTH, NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, or do you sugarcoat it? In your rightousness for the truth, I hope you tell your children the ENTIRE truth about sex between a man and a woman.
And when they ask you why the little girl in their class has two mommies, I hope you tell them the TRUTH, chapter and verse (and then tell them NOT to tell the other children.....LOL)
I'm betting you don't.
It doesn't "inevitably" happen for us. We homeschool and as far as I know our family and most of our friends don't make a lot of the Santa story, so I'm somewhat limited in the advice I have to give to those for whom it comes up often.
Having said that, I imagine that our kids would generally smile like someone who knows a secret. If asked what Santa was bringing them, they'd probably say, "I don't know what I'm getting" or simply "I don't know."
And before Howlin accuses my children of being liars again (and me of being a liar-maker), the fact is that Santa has personally been to our house before. Not the one with the flying sleigh and reindeer, but a damn good facsimile, in red suit and all. When he and his helper came to our door with gifts a couple of Christmases ago (sent by we still don't know precisely who!), they did in fact just smile and laugh.
Yes, they all knew he didn't come here from the north pole. They simply accepted him as the representation of the spirit of giving that he was. And they had fun, and enjoyed the experience, and appreciated the presents, the giving, and the spirit behind it no less for knowing that he probably drove, not flew, from some place more like North Powell Street than like the North Pole.
Totally inappropriate behavior by the teacher. It was all about HER. She felt like venting on little kids. She deserves coal in her stocking this year,.
All about her...
No, it's the only thing YOU can think to make yourself right.
Any assertion to the contrary (should you continue to make it) will only prove that you're an imbecile.
I may be an imbecile in your view, which is fine by me, but after seeing your specious arguments I'd rather be over on this side of the "line" with the rest of the imbeciles than over there on your side with the prigs.
And I will bet your $50 right now that when your children have children, they'll have Santa Claus because they've been deprived of it in their lives.
Michael Josephson sets a very good guideline about "white lies." You ask the question: How would the person who is being told the lie react if he/she knew the truth?
A classic example is throwing a surprise party. Some lying is necessary but generally the subject understands.
So, ask any adult whether they would have liked to believe in Santa a few years long. I am willing to wager most would not have mined a few more years. And I am wiling to wager NONE hold the "lie" against their parents.
And you say you're not Jewish? And you're "grinning" because your children would tell a "little white lie?"
The logical consequences seem pretty inescapable, which (once again) why is you duck out of the question instead of engaging the logic.
In fact, I honestly think you're incapable of honesty with self, or of admitting that you were wrong to falsely accuse others of making liars out of their children.
But the fact is that Santa Claus and Christmas in IN YOUR HEART and if you BELIEVE, you will eventually learn one of the most joyous lessons of life: sharing with others, the real lesson Jesus Christ taught most of us.
That's great. Teach me about Jesus. You could start out in the Christmas spirit by not accusing others, people of perfectly good will, of making liars out of their children, and then ducking the issue when called on it.
And speaking of "being on these threads again, here you are, showing your have an abject NEED to make all the rest of us liars, coming on these threads with your sanctimonious rightousness, acting as if there is something wrong with those of us who participate in the LEGEND of St. Nicholas.
Hey, I wasn't the one who started the denigration of others here. But I don't expect you to assume any responsibilty for your actions or words.
You just don't seem to like it when people point out your own hypocricy.
You've utterly failed to demonstrate the slightest hypocrisy on my part, and you've utterly failed to address the demonstrable hypocrisy that I documented on your part.
BTW, I still haven't gotten an answer to my question on one of the other threads: when your child asks you where he came from
Ah yes, let's change the subject again.
And when they ask you why the little girl in their class has two mommies, I hope you tell them the TRUTH, chapter and verse (and then tell them NOT to tell the other children.....LOL)
I'm honest to my children, and tell them the truth about life, in as much or as little detail as I as a parent find appropriate.
Honestly, I find it difficult to understand people who seem to have a problem with that. Not that it matters. It's none of your business to tell me how to raise my kids.
Well, you'd never know it to read some of these threads; some people were scarred for life, evidently.
Heck, I wish there was a Santa Claus; then I could go to bed right now without wrapping all those presents in there! :-)
Then do the rest of us a favor and not try to appear morally superior to the rest of us.
And I'm betting you have lied to your children about something; no parent can make it to a child's 3rd birthday without a lie of some kind.
Critique away!
Or assembling that bike all night long.
Actually, when my neice and nephew were little kids one of the best parts of Christmas eve was planting evidence of Santa's visit.
Anyone who wants to deprive THEMSELVES of that, much less their kids, is really cynical and deserves our pity (I know how hard it is given the way you have been attacked).
I think I should send this thread to John Gibson. He can excerpt it in his next book.
Um... got bad news for you... lol...
And I will bet your $50 right now that when your children have children, they'll have Santa Claus because they've been deprived of it in their lives.
You're on! In fact, freepmail me your address and contact information and we'll make it not $50, but $500, per child, (I have five kids), adjusted for inflation.
So that's a $2500 bet in 2005 dollars, if all five kids turn out on the same side, either way. We'll draw it up as a legally-binding contract, with our names, addresses, the whole works.
For each of my kids who tells their children the mythical version of Santa Claus (when they have kids), I'll pay you the equivalent of $500 in 2005 dollars. For each of my kids who gives their children the same type of explanation we've given them, you'll be legally bound to pay me $500. Per head.
So some amount between $0 (my kids might not have kids, or we might have a 2-2 results) and $2500 (it's be more in face value, because we're talking current, 2005 dollars) will change hands depending on outcome.
Here's your chance to make $2500 off of me. I'll be looking forward to your freepmail.
But I WON'T be holding my breath.
Before Howlin accepts the bet, I would like to see a neutral observer, who can guarantee no undue duress was exerted upon your children (like withholding inheritance).
The burden of proof in on your for that statement. I'd love to see you prove that.
Oh, by the way, if you didn't notice, you just intimated that all of the parents of children older than 3 on this thread are liars. (Presumably including yourself, if you have kids.)
And while I could be forgetting something, I honestly can't recall any occasion on which I've lied to one of my kids; and the oldest is almost a teenager. If that makes me "self-righteous" in your eyes, then so be it. It's the truth. I may have said, "I can't talk about this issue right now," but that is NOT the same as lying.
Truth matters in our family, which is why it's kind of a bit offensive when someone who doesn't even know us makes false charges of lying/ making others lie.
Playing Santa, like the Tooth Fairy, is a game we play with our children in the American tradition.
This woman clearly hates American tradition, and wants to take that game away from the children.
She probably would love to see American nationalism dry up and have the USA become part of the global government.
I don't know how a neutral observer could guarantee such a thing. Doesn't matter, anyway. I'm sure we can get a signed, notarized statement on the part of the kids, and a similar statement from someone who knows us very well that the kids making the statement are honest and truthful in character.
Assuming, of course, that they are at that point in their lives. As their parent I believe they will be, but everyone has choices and responsibility as to how they will live their lives as an adult.
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